Stars, They're Just Like Us: A Chat With a Chill Astronomer
LatestBeing the big, bright, volatile and self-destructive balls of gas they are, stars aren’t really just like us. Or—wait a minute.
As I found out during my brief foray into writing Midweek Madness on this website, which forced me to overcome both my powerful face-blindness and overwhelming apathy towards celebrity, I feel nothing—dead, even, and not in the emoji way—at the sight of a tabloid snap of an actress shoving Whole Foods bags into the trunk of her car. However, as I have known all my life, I feel quite alive (in a dead way) when I consider the larger physical forces that manage even the vaguest contours of similarity between humans and real stars.
Life without life, death without tragedy: stars aren’t exactly like us, but might be better. I consulted Michael Williams, a former astronomer who got his PhD at Oxford and taught at Columbia before swerving—”for all the usual reasons,” he said, in a warm British accent—to a lane outside of academia. He took a break from his data science work at a startup
to answer my incredibly dumb questions about astronomy.
Okay. The first way I thought that stars are just like us is that they’re known for their groupings, and the coolest-looking groups get the most attention. A constellation is a clique, maybe. A galaxy is a country.
Yes. There are definitely scales of communities of stars, just like with people: star clusters, galaxies, groups of galaxies. But constellations are strange ones.
Because they’re arbitrary groupings?
The names we give them are arbitrary, yes, and the shapes are very abstracted. But the really weird thing about them comes from the fact that stars exist in three-dimensional space, but we see them in two-dimensional space. So, some of the stars in constellations are much further away than the others. For an alien on another planet, the Big Dipper won’t look like the Big Dipper to her.
You know, my favorite page on Wikipedia is “The Timeline of Far Future Events”—a list of things that physicists know are going to happen in the very distant future. One of the first things on the list is that the constellations will no longer exist. The stars won’t be where they used to be.
You could say that this is sort of the way that, when everyone leaves college or whatever, friendship cliques dissolve.
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