Susan Boyle Says She's Been Diagnosed with Asperger's

The singer who endeared herself to talent show audiences everywhere after her 2009 appearance on Britain’s Got Talent explained that she had learning difficulties as a child, a result, she was told, of brain damage suffered from oxygen deprivation during birth. It wasn’t until a year ago that she sought the advice of a specialist, who finally told her that she had Asperger’s and an above-average IQ. Don’t you feel great knowing that Susan Boyle is finally at peace with herself? Also, she has a Christmas album coming out, so you better order that shit on iTunes. [Guardian]

• Did Lindsay Lohan conspire with her friends to scuff up Barron Hilton‘s symmetrical face after a coke and booze-themed orgy party featuring live sun bears with painted toenails serving cocktails and fruit bats dispersing cocaine over the guests like little membranous crop dusters? It looks icky, but, I mean, I can’t say for sure because my invitation to the party was lost in the mail after I’d gone out of my way to purchase vegetable shortening in bulk and pick out a new latex outfit. [TMZ]
• Mila Kunis enlisted the help of Ashton Kutcher to crash her brother Michael Kunis‘s wedding. [People]
• A year after the plane crash than killed Mexican-American singer Jenni Rivera along with six other passengers, Mexico’s General Directorate of Civil Aeronautics released its findings about the accident, claiming the 78-year-old pilot of the 43-year-old Learjet was too old for the license Mexican authorities had given him. [CNN]
• Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles were spotted leaving a New York hotel together, and, so it would seem, are doing the sex. Other possibilities: late-night possum hunts, Manhattan sewer spelunking, reading parties, crime-fighting, and vampirism. [E!]
• The Pitt-Jolie clan went yachting in Australia just to make you feel extra shitty about electing to stay in all weekend and blow through all the recently added episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. [Us]
• Adele and and Simon Konecki enjoyed date night at a members-only club in London where Lady Gaga was performing for a small group of famous people SUCH AS Hermione Granger, King Henry VIII, Feyd Rautha, and Marius. [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was seen tongue-jacking some brown-haired woman’s mouth in a club, but (spoiler alert) Leonardo DiCaprio’s actual girlfriend has blond hair! [NYDN]
• This is the saddest thing you will read all day: Neither The Rock nor Kellan Lutz would let Kevin Sorbo make a cameo in either of their Hercules movies, even though Kevin Sorbo really tried to make it happen. Soon starring at your child’s Hercules-themed birthday party? Kevin Sorbo. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus sprayed Santa Claus with peppermint pheromones and now Christmas is ruined. Won’t someone think of the children?? [Buzzfeed]
• Shaun Weiss, the actor who played the Mighty Ducks’ useless goaltender Goldberg, has been accused of trying to pee on his girlfriend. It never made sense why the Ducks didn’t just cut Goldberg once Julie “The Cat” Gaffney joined the team — she was clearly the superior netminder, plus she didn’t reek of urine. [TMZ]
• This is cast of Anchorman 2 singing “Afternoon Delight” with One Direction during last night’s SNL monologue [Buzzfeed], which was probably supposed to elicit this reaction:

And more likely elicited this reaction:

Image via Getty