They Split Up!

After over a year of calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, those two have decided to start calling each other exes instead. In an exclusive report by Us Weekly, the couple they once described as “not so undateable” revealed it was the strains of being in a long distance relationship that led them to take a permanent vacation in Splitsville.

After spending an unspecified number of days in mourning over the breakup, an insider familiar with the couple told Us Weekly:

“Her being in Chicago and him in L.A. put a strain on their relationship, so they amicably split. They were both really into each other and it was hard for both of them.”

What we had here was the dreaded and all-to common story of man meets woman, man and woman fall in love, man and woman display their love publicly in January of 2015 by “stepping out together at the HBO Luxury Lounge at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills, where they were spotted being openly affectionate,” woman tells photographer who captured their PDA, “You can’t release it until Valentine’s Day because that is when we are announcing we’re dating,” man and woman announce they’re dating on Valentine’s Day 2015, woman moves to Chicago, man forgets about woman, woman forgets about man, and mutual friend calls US Weekly.

Certain as the sun rising in the east, tale as old time, song as old as rhyme, re-la-tion-ship ceased.