Redbook has a photo editor named Bruce Perez so we are going to be reverse-sexist and, instead of the magazine’s female creative director, blame him for the fact that Faith Hill looks very Carrie Underwood on the cover of Redbook.
We don’t know Bruce, but here’s what we imagine he told the underling charged with this Photoshop task… after the jump.
From: Bruce Perez, Photo editor, Redbook
To: Intern David
Okay, it’s not Kate Winslet or Oprah or anything but don’t expect to make it to Quiz-o or Misshapes or wherever you young folks are buying your cocaine these days: call it in delivery because this is a, ahem, project. It turns out Faith Hill looks sort of like your mom. Frankly, of course, if your mom looked like this, I’d still have to do her, but Redbook is under strict instructions to skew younger and if anyone is going to be in touch with what the Girls Gone Wild generation is looking for in a magazine it is not the editors over there. And so weight of the task, kid, falls on us.
Some more salient of the fixes:
1. SCALP: You know what we need here? Some more frickin hair. Please, we could practically reuse her to illustrate one of those perennial female pattern baldness pieces. HELLO, did she not get the message that extensions are the new earrings? Take it from Lauryn Hill, white bitches INVENTED the weave, just like Koreans invented fake nails. And speaking of, Faith: nice manicure! For me to poop on!!
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