The Fun, Foul & Fugly Fashion Of The MTV Europe Music Awards

The MTV Europe Music Awards happened last night in Belfast. It wouldn’t be MTV without a few manufactured pop stars, teen heartthrobs that olds like me don’t get, and a whole lotta fun/fugly get-ups. https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgJessie J reminds me that Fran Drescher did it and still does it better. Selena Gomez’s dress went too far in the ice skating uniform direction with all that tulle and heavy lace. Bar Refaeli went with the mullet hem, and honestly, it seems like every Hollywood babe with a pair of shapely legs is going for the mullet hem these days, but it looks good on Bar, so why not?https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgKaty Perry’s red carpet outfits cause me a lot of internal strife. On the one hand, I love that she has fun getting dressed and that her outfits are always bound by the perimeters of tackiness and wackiness, but on the other hand, sometimes I think back to the good ol’ days of Project Runway, when Nina Garcia told a smug Santino Rice, “It’s just not aesthetically pleasing!” I don’t know, it’s the pink novelty print, and the pink studded jacket, the pink smiley earrings, the pink on the saddle shoes and the pink hair, and the pink lipstick—I just can’t take so much pink, and so much fun! Good thing Amy Lee is here to suck all the fun and pink out of the proceedings. The Evanescence singer is wearing horrible things, but at least, we can store freshly picked apples in the folds of her skirt. Hayden Panettiere paired a dress that is trying to be edgy with shoes that are not trying at all.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgThis is what MTV awards show fashion should be about—young people trying out new and fun proportions while us olds sit around griping about how elegance has fallen by the wayside. No, just kidding, but seriously, the proportions on all three outfits are way off. Ashley Rickards manages to make a mini dress look droopy. It’s rarely a good idea to pair slouchy pirate boots with a tight micro mini like Tina Barrett did. Samesies for pairing granny boots with a long velvet gown that has a slit so hardcore that it exposes the entirety of Wynter Gordon’s leg.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgI’m still recovering from overexposure to pink, but Bruno Mars and his man-gang did a nice thing to wear matching pink jackets, black skinny ties, and wayfarer sunglasses.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgI feel prematurely stressed out and annoyed by potential THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME jokes about South Korean boy band, Big Bang, but if I can shake that off for a minute, let me just say that this is basically how I want an all-boy pop band to look—totally manufactured and over the top and unselfconsciously hilarious. How do I get my leather jacket customized with “Cant i do” “Crass” and a peace sign next to the anarchy sign? I want someone to manufacture my look!https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgSpeaking of manufactured… manufactured girl groups seem so quaint and antiquated, but here we have the members of the British girl group From Above looking kind of fabulous. I like the architectural theme, especially the girl on the far left who is in a sort of deconstructed LBD, and the girl next to her in the golden, fan skirt. Not so into the middle girl, who is in a strapless white dress that has been inexplicably covered with a 70’s door curtain.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgAnd now we have the grown up boy band for boring adults. I kid, I kid. Nice matching poppy pins for Remembrance Day. Chris Martin is looking very boyish, and I can’t help but notice Guy Berryman, next to him, is wearing an updated Mao suit.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgLouise Roe’s jumpsuit makes her waist disappear completely and also gives off the illusion that her crotch happens a full two feet below her waist. Singer-songwriter Katy B went simple and chic in a black pantsuit, but kicked things up a notch with her red pumps. Jennifer Metcalfe reminds me of a poor man’s Megan Fox. Her furry lips bag is horrendous.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgDavid Hasselhoff has no choice but to self-satirize on the red carpet. The Biebs has got some kind of magic that my old ass will never understand, because to me, he looks just like a well-groomed frat boy, who will one day go on to marry a sweet girl and inherit his father’s company. Adam Lambert’s look is not something I normally endorse, but he was the only guest judge this season on Project Runway who had smart things to say, so now I’m a Lambert fan.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpgSinger Lena Meyer-Landrut is wearing amazing tights with the wrong dress. British singer Lauren Bennett is in a gutsy-but-ugly leather jumpsuit. There’s got to be a pee-flap on that thing, no? Irish actress Amy Huberman has, unfortunately, paired pretty 60’s French new wave make-up with ugly 2011 booties and a timeless and personality-less LBD.https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/juploads/2024/01/logo-696×696-1.jpg