The inner torment of Chris Christie, based on recent photographs

Hello. I am New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Once, my approval ratings were sky-high, and I was viewed as a legitimate Republican presidential contender with huge crossover appeal.

Today, this is me.

I stand behind this Loud Man as he mocks my every accomplishment and dream.

I must wave to his admirers, who abhor my presence.

Sometimes I try to hide behind him, so that the cameras will not capture my pain.

But always they are there, documenting my torment.

I hear the Loud Man’s words, and horror stirs inside me.

He shouts about his genitals, and I contort every muscle in my face into an approximation of a smile.

When no one is focused on me, I fantasize about escaping to the mountains.

But sooner or later it hits me that my fantasizing is just that; it is fantasy.

Because of my sins, I have been cursed to endure this endless humiliation.

Let my obvious agony serve as a warning to all politicians.

This could be you.

This IS me.

My name is Chris Christie. And once, there was joy in my life.

I cannot say this out loud, but: Please do not vote for the Loud Man this November.

Free me from his iron grip.

Please. And thank you.