The U.S. Postal Service Is Launching a Clothing Line for Some Reason


The U.S. Postal Service has very few fans because it is wildly disorganized and understaffed and slowly dying. So obviously it is launching a new product line of apparel and accessories that it hopes to sell in “premier department and specialty stores,” as per a very sad press release.

Neither snow, nor rain nor gloom of night has taken on a different meaning at the U.S. Postal Service with plans to launch a new product line of apparel and accessories under the brand name, “Rain Heat & Snow.”

Tell us more! (“Ok!” the Postal Service eagerly says, like a puppy that just wants to be loved):

The Postal Service’s unofficial motto, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds,” serves as a backdrop for a licensing agreement the organization has signed with Cleveland-based fashion apparel company Wahconah Group, Inc. The agreement leverages Postal Service intellectual property by introducing the Rain Heat & Snow brand of apparel and accessory products.

Oh no.

“This agreement will put the Postal Service on the cutting edge of functional fashion,” said Postal Service Corporate Licensing Manager Steven Mills. “The main focus will be to produce Rain Heat & Snow apparel and accessories using technology to create ‘smart apparel’ – also known as wearable electronics.”

Have you been to a post office lately? I had to go there to get a Money Order last week and let me tell you: shit is dire and the revolution is nigh. Nothing there was working correctly — from their debit/credit card machines to the windows themselves — so maybe they should tackle the necessities before creating Jetsons-esque gear? Let’s leave that to Google.

Under the licensing agreement with the Postal Service, Wahconah will initially introduce Rain Heat & Snow apparel and accessories for men with future plans for a women’s line. Can’t wait!


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