Trump is Trying to Distract in the Loudest Way Possible: the Biggest Fireworks Display in Human History

President Trump’s America250 celebration is apparently going to involve trying to set a Guinness World Record for fireworks, because at this point subtlety or any sort of common sense clearly isn’t the goal. 

According to organizers behind “Freedom 250,” which is the Trump-backed initiative planning the 250th anniversary of American independence, Washington D.C.’s July 4th fireworks show will attempt to become the largest fireworks display in world history. The current record was set in the Philippines in 2016 and involved more than 800,000 fireworks. And Freedom 250 reportedly wants to beat it.

The feds are declaring the day a National Special Security Event which would activate a “flood-the-zone law-enforcement response” that’s implemented for presidential inaugurations. According to Axios, the Secret Service will take the lead on coordinating security, and that “increased security measures” will take effect “in the days leading up to, during and immediately following the event” because nothing says Trump’s America like more guns on the streets. 

This planned show would run for over 30 minutes on the National Mall which is nearly double the length of a typical D.C. fireworks display. Organizers are expecting more than one million attendees as part of this sprawling, MAGA fever dream featuring a “Great American State Fair,” military-style flyovers, concerts, speeches, and whatever other gold-painted insanity this administration can concoct. Although it is important to note that Trump’s approval rating is so low, we might have an embarrassing Vance-sized crowd show up. 

This fireworks nightmare is, if you think about it, the complete epitome of Trump-era aesthetics. It’s big, loud, gold-plated, televised and flashy, and just not concerned with whether anyone actually asked for it.

And even though America250 is the official Congressional Commission to plan the country’s semiquincentennial, Trump has really pushed for this “Freedom 250” branding, which critics say is turning the country’s anniversary into Trump’s own personalized political event. 

Being a Trumper is synonymous with a certain kind of performative patriotism, so through that lens, the fireworks thing feels very on brand. This is the same political ecosystem that gave us a military parade coinciding with Trump’s birthday last year—remember all the tanks and flyovers and lawmakers saying this felt like a display you’d see in an authoritarian country? Well! This year we’re getting that on steroids. 

There’s also something darkly funny about attempting to launch nearly a million explosives into the sky during a summer when most of the country is already dealing with extreme heat, wildfire anxiety, and concerns around climate disasters. Fireworks themselves have become increasingly controversial in drought-prone regions because of air pollution and fire risk. Even Trump’s previously proposed Mount Rushmore fireworks celebrations faced environmental backlash over wildfire concerns. Also remember how we’re in the middle of a war and constantly running low on ammunition? 

Still, if the goal was to create the most aggressively American sentence imaginable, “Trump attempts world-record fireworks display for America’s 250th birthday” is admittedly hard to beat. Happy birthday America!