Guys…. guys. Arizona State University is home to a class called “U.S. Race Theory and the Problem of Whiteness.” The PROBLEM with WHITENESS? You think you have heard it all… but you have not.
This video, featuring Fox Anchor/Resident Genius Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Lauren Clark, a “correspondent” for something called Campus Reform dot org and an ASU student who will not be taking the class, will show you why the class is so appalling, as well as plenty of the bald, abject fear disguised as deep disdain for the dark, evil path down which our country is headed, in which white people are totally DEMONIZED and seen as the ENEMY by dirty LIBERALS who probably don’t even BATHE. Hasselbeck is verklempt all over the place, but her impeccable helmet hair keeps that shit in check. Clark, who is also wearing red and has almost the exact same hair (insert “I can’t tell you white people apart” joke here because, um…), is soooooooooooooo over the textbooks required in the course, which are things like Critical Race Theory and The Everyday Language of White Racism, and Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination by one of America’s greatest writers in history, Toni Morrison.
Ugh god sooooo utterly INAPPROPRIATE texts for a course entitled “U.S. RACE THEORY!” Clark is quick to point out that “all of these books have a disturbing trend” and that trend is “pointing to all white people as the root cause of social injustices for this country,” which, yeah, someone give her an A on that paper, she totally gets it.
Hasselbeck digs deep into that wig and whips out her best logic-zinger, which is the brilliantly predictable, “If the course were called ‘The Problem With Blackness’ or ‘The Problem With Being Female,’ would that fly at the university?” BOO-YAH! Y’ALL KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! She was, of course, pointing out the CLEAR double standard that all these liberal institutions are dropping and totally bringing the white man DOWN.
Arizona is, of course, the same state that outlawed ethnic studies in their public school system, so it does make sense that in this context Clark and Hasselbeck would not know their history regarding centuries-old systemic racism in our country, dating back to the time when white people were simultaneously kidnapping black people from Africa and thereabouts while also massacring the natives indigenous to this great land they decided they wanted. So I really get and truly feel their sense of persecution. Arizona used to be México, you dorks. “I wonder what students like myself are taking out of this class when they learn about this negative racial tension in society! There’s a lot of implications here!” grouses Lauren Clark, so basic that I actually appreciate the vehemence from whence her basicness comes. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, amirite Lauren? Did we mention the professor teaching this course is ALSO WHITE! O lo, the shaaaaaade of it all.