A Has-Been Is Crashing Out Over Zara Larsson

On Friday, Chris Brown released a new album (creatively titled BROWN), and I know we would usually all ignore this news and move on with our day, but unfortunately, I must now step in because he’s crashing out on Instagram and calling out our queen Zara Larsson. Hey, it’s okay to make a shitty album. It happens. But don’t blame the hate on the new pop diva in town who’s outselling you.

On Tuesday, Pitchfork gave BROWN a score of 1.3 (and that’s out of 10), citing that “the soulless, hit-chasing new album doesn’t justify his return to the public eye,” and “This album is a real piece of shit.” Just like him! But apparently, the review struck a nerve with Brown, because afterward, he posted on his Instagram story responding to the hate (which he gets a lot of for some reason). 

“I know exactly who my fans is and I know exactly who hearing this album. If you not my fan, I don’t want you to listen to my shit. Go listen to motherfuckin’ Zara Larsson or somebody. Fuck them.” First of all, we were already listening to Zara Larsson before you so rudely interrupted, and second of all, keep her name out of your mouth.

Chris Brown responds to criticism over his album ‘BROWN’ in new Instagram story pic.twitter.com/WuGyikO36W

— Complex (@Complex) May 13, 2026

And to the proverbial “haters,” Brown added—“We kickin’ their ass, goddammit. We ain’t lettin’ up. I’mma keep my foot on they neck and we ain’t stopping. You heard me? We doing this motherfucker. Tour, more shit to come. I’m not gonna tell you what’s more to come, but it’s coming, at the end of the day.” In this wise words of Larsson, OK, loser. 

Trust me Shit Brown….we ARE listening to Zara Larsson https://t.co/FjxCzj041i pic.twitter.com/v3TgmbutNY

— 🌙 (@navybih) May 13, 2026

In an interview with Cosmopolitan in February, Larsson was asked what artist she would “never” add to her playlists, to which she responded, “There are so many artists I have blocked on Spotify, and all of them are, like, abusers. You certainly wouldn’t find, like, a Chris Brown song.” Well, did she lie? I guess her comment is still making him butthurt, which is embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as the album itself.

If you need a refresher on why you definitely shouldn’t listen to BROWN, allow me to spell it out: he pleaded guilty to assaulting Rihanna, threatened Karrueche Tran to the point she had to obtain a restraining order, has been arrested for 4 times for assault, and has acquired a slew of other sexual assault allegations, and ultimately, yes, the album is trash. Save your ears.

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