A List of Headlines We Really Didn't Want to Use Regarding the Explosion at the Semen Factory

By Megan Reynolds  |  September 17, 2019 | 9:30pm
Latest
A List of Headlines We Really Didn't Want to Use Regarding the Explosion at the Semen Factory
It’s Old Faithful, but you get it. Image: (AP)

A cattle breeding facility in Australia has experienced an unspeakable tragedy: a massive explosion that resulted in the loss of over 100 vials of bull semen. As Newsweek reports, the fire took over two hours to extinguish in full, and the firefighters battling the blaze were on the lookout for any “projectiles” coming out of said conflagration—not chunks of molten bull jizz, as I suspected, but the lids from the vials that contained the bulls’ life essence.

I’m grateful that none of the bulls were injured in this tragedy. I am also grateful that Jezebel did not run with any of the headlines for this agricultural disaster, listed below:

  • Semen Lab Explodes
  • Semen Everywhere
  • Jizzsplosion
  • Splat!
  • Expensive Semen Everywhere, as Far as the Eye Can See
  • Bull-kake
  • Semen—Everywhere!
  • Se(m)en Any Bull Sperm Lately?

Suggestions welcome in the comments.

 
Join the discussion...