A Playlist for Washing Week-Old Dishes & Deep Cleaning Your Grimy Crib
Entertainment
Very Specific Playlists is a weekly feature in which Jezebel staffers make very specific Spotify playlists based on their weird proclivities.
I still have nightmares about my first apartment, in Astoria, Queens. It was infested with roaches to the point that I’d find them crawling in my bed. Inch-long water bugs routinely chilled out near the fridge. Disgusting, I know. I had to live there.
Unfortunately, this was a symptom of: 1) dying to live on my own 2) failing to thoroughly inspect the place before signing a lease 3) having an apartment unit right next to the garbage disposal, which was basically a closet in a hallway where people dumped trash. I told my landlord Gus this wasn’t a great idea.
I ended up doing obsessively deep research on roach control and found out what doesn’t work: screaming tantrums, speaking to them gently, spraying Windex and running away, crying in a fetal position on the bed, staring at a wall while regretting life, hurling a shoe at the wall hoping it hits one. What does work: Combat gel, boric acid, exterminators.
The upside was that this forced me to keep my apartment spotless. Even after the situation improved (they stopped using that closet as a garbage haven), I remained paranoid. I barely cooked and there was never a dirty dish in the sink. Decent logic says that since there’s no roach problem in my Brooklyn spot, there’s no reason to do dishes regularly. These days, I begrudgingly get to them after a week or so. I may or may not occasionally, instead of just washing one butter knife, use a carving knife to butter my morning bagels.
That’s a long explanation to get to this playlist, so clearly it was traumatizing.
Anyway, when it’s about time to deep clean and wash dishes, if you’re like me, you start by throwing on a slobcore outfit (sweats and an ex’s soccer tee) and a pair of cool purple latex gloves. For cleaning session playlists (there are many options), I generally stay away from somber, depressing music. Motivational dance, reggae and feel-good oldies get me in a better mood to scrub germs, ingest mold and stop being an all-around slob. Here’s a playlist for cleaning your dirty ass spot.
1. Chaka Khan, “I Feel For You”
This song instantly gets me in the cleaning spirit and makes me feel like Mr. Clean died and left me his Magic Eraser kingdom. Chaka’s power yelps are like a motivational mantra, as I imagine she’s telling me “I feel for you” because she feels my pain right now and “I think I love you” because she genuinely loves me.
(Sidebar: the Chaka Khan and Cheryl Lynn stations on Pandora are top-notch cleaning soundtracks.)
2. Cheryl Lynn, “Encore”
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