ABC's Dirty Dancing Has Its First Nightmare Trailer

Judging from this brief promo, it looks like every well-known moment in the iconic film will pop up more or less exactly the way it was, but without the erotic physicality of Patrick Swayze and the strangely aggressive chemistry he shared with Jennifer Grey (fun fact: they did NOT like each other!) It’s so like, yet unlike, the original that watching it feels like dipping into the Uncanny Valley.

Clearly, producers expect us to clap like trained seals when we see Baby say her name is “Baby” and then the follow-up in which Baby is not put in a corner, and finally, The Lift. And you know what? We probably will. So, congrats, ABC, you got everyone talking about this remake so unnecessary that you are blatantly marketing it as a hate watching “event” rather than original programming. See you out on the dance log.