Somebody Get Kristi Noem a Map

Third country deportations have become a terrifying tool for this Trump administration’s cruel anti-immigrant campaign, and in February, it was estimated that the Department of Homeland Security has deported 300 individuals to countries they’d never been before. But I’m guessing it hasn’t helped that Kristi Noem—whose reign only ended in March—apparently can’t tell apart her continents.

ICYMI, Noem made her first television appearance as the nation’s newest “Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas” on Saturday, explaining to NEWSMAX her very legitimate and not-at-all BS job. According to her, being special envoy entails bringing together countries that demonstrate American values and can work with the administration—though according to others in the administration, it’s a position that was solely created to keep her from running for the Senate and put her out to the “glue factory.” 

Alas, it may have been a better decision to instead send her back to school, because when NEWSMAX host Greta Van Susteren asked Noem which country is our “best friend” in South America, Noem replied: “Well, we’ve worked so much with El Salvador and migration issues and third country agreements,” adding, “Costa Rica has been fantastic.” Both of which… are in Central America.

VAN SUSTEREN: Who is our best friend in South America at this point

KRISTI NOEM: We’ve worked so much with El Salvador … Costa Rica has been fantastic

(El Salvador and Costa Rica, dear reader, are not in South America) pic.twitter.com/TPq2sH4RYV

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) June 13, 2026

In her response, Noem had also listed Ecuador and Argentina—which are, indeed, in South America—but many were quick to rinse the mistake, especially as it reminded many of a similar blunder made by Vice President JD Vance, who last year appeared to forget how World War II ended, crediting negotiations instead of a forced and unconditional surrender. 

“Yesterday it was Vance not having a clue about how WWII ended and now we have another dim Trumpster with no clue of which countries are in South America,” one person tweeted. “Can someone buy these idiots a map?” someone added. “Geez…………….Kristi and JD both need to go back to high school and learn something about the world and history,” another quipped.

Jezebel has reached out to the State Department for comment, and will let you know if we hear back.

As DHS secretary, Noem never missed an opportunity to go on TV—dressing the part so often that she won herself the titles “ICE Barbie” and Cosplay Kristi. And this is probably a good a reminder as any: maybe it’s time to take a break from the screens. 

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