All the Economy-Horny Senators Raw Dogging It At the Fauci Hearings

By Emily Alford | May 12, 2020 | 9:55pm

News Politics

All the Economy-Horny Senators Raw Dogging It At the Fauci Hearings

This morning White House coronavirus task force medical advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci testified before the U.S. Senate that the nation should be cautious about reopening too quickly, especially since the total coronavirus death toll (which currently sits at 80,000) is actually probably much higher than the official record states. In response, many members of the Republican-controlled Senate chose to trot out their best American anti-intellectualism-inspired fashions by accessorizing red, white, and blue ties with the absence of protective masks. Here are some of the hottest looks and worst takes from the Senate hearings.

A maskless Senator Rand Paul proved that one can simultaneously be a physician and shirk sound medical advice in an Old Glory-inspired tie and completely bare fucking face while refuting Dr. Fauci’s actual evidence with some good old Republican conjecture:

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“So I think we ought to have a little bit of humility in our belief that we know what’s best for the economy,” Paul said. “And as much as I respect you, Dr. Fauci, I don’t think you’re the end-all. I don’t think you’re the one person that gets to make a decision. We can listen to your advice, but there are people on the other side saying there’s not going to be a surge and that we can safely open the economy and the facts will bear this out.”

True to fashion, good old “Maybe She Will, Maybe She Won’t” Senator Susan Collins opted for a utilitarian chic surgical mask halfway through the proceedings.

Others opting to raw dog the testimonies include Kelly Loeffler, Bill Cassidy, Richard Burr, Lisa Murkowski, and Mike Braun. [Washington Post, Twitter]

Speaking of bald faces, workers who quarantined within a Pennsylvania factory in order to produce PPE materials for healthcare workers, without risk of infection or infecting others, would rather Trump, Pence, and all the other maskless leaders not turn up to their factory for photo-ops.

Factory officials at the Braskem factory asked the White House press team to please postpone a visit slated for last Friday out of concerns around the fact that President Trump and Vice President Pence have frequently been photographed without protective masks at hospitals, nursing homes, and other places where they could potentially be exposed to covid-19. Not to mention the fact that Katie Miller, aide to Mike Pence has tested positive for covid-19, and all White House staffers (except the two traveling state-to-state taking photographs in proximity to other human beings, apparently) have been ordered to cover their faces. [Washitngton Post]

The HEROES act sounds helpful, which will most likely mean certain death in the Senate. [Axios]
Meanwhile, the Trump tax return subplot is still going, four seasons in. [Washington Post]
Despite Rand Paul’s assertion during the coronavirus task force testimony that covid-19 is kind of a New England problem, actual evidence says otherwise. [NBC]
Stacey Abrams is officially Team Biden, possibly but not necessarily because there is a likelihood that it will eventually be Team Biden/Abrams. [Politico]
After six new cases, Wuhan is going test every single resident for coronavirus. [Washington Post]
California will choose a candidate to fill Katie Hill’s House seat. [KTLA 5]
And Trump used the California election as a chance to do that hammy second-act exposition where the movie villain outlines his dastardly plan to destroy lives and ruin the country. Maybe he hopes superheroes will show up and stop him so he won’t have to run again? [The Guardian]
Heavens, Republican donors are beginning to suspect Lindsay Graham might not be a man of principle. [CNN]
The irony of Mitch McConnell rambling about class while telling anyone to shut up writes its own bullet, so I’ll just be the one who shuts up. [Politico]