Ashley Judd Will Probably Announce Her Senate Run in May, Says Everyone Except Ashley Judd

CelebritiesDirt Bag

There are those involved in Kentucky politics who have it on fairly high authority that Ashley Judd, who might become the very first Senator ever to have shouted the words, “I am the super-mother bug!” while topless, is planning to announce her candidacy for the U.S. Senate this spring. Sources close to the actress/activist say that she’d ideally like to announce her candidacy for the Democratic nomination in the 2014 Kentucky Senate race around the time of the Kentucky Derby in May, most likely while wearing the fanciest hat imaginable so she can attract the flitting attention of Derby-goers and racehorses alike (the recreational quadruped faction, as I’m sure you all know, is quite strong in Kentucky).

Judd has so far denied reports that she’s about to announce a Senate run, but she’s done so in the peculiarly equivocal way politicians have of trying to maintain control of their public images for as long as possible. About her imminent announcement, she told the HuffPo:

I am not sure who is saying this stuff, but it is not I! I’d prefer as a fan of your journalism that you stay accurate and credible. We told everyone who called us yesterday these stories are fabrications.

Oh and I suppose rumors of Ashley Judd repurposing racehorses for her band of Robin Hood-style band of outlaws are also just “fabrications,” too. [HuffPo]

  • A UFO expert has finally been summoned to evaluate Russell Crowe‘s hot UFO pic and the verdict is: total bullshit. Thanks, science community. This seemed like a really important thing to talk about. [TMZ]
  • Mandy Moore has pulled out of a single-camera ABC sitcom called Pulling, which, according to Deadline, “revolves around three dysfunctional women in their 30s living their lives the way they want, even if society tells them they should have it all figured out by this point.” Moore was set to play the woman desperate for a husband, because we all know one of those, RIGHT LADYEEZ? [Deadline]
  • Kelly Osbourne‘s doctors haven’t ruled out epilepsy as the culprit behind her seizure on Thursday. [TMZ]
  • When asked what he thought of Lost, The Great Nerdgasmo Joss Whedon said (and I’m paraphrasing), “HAHA, puny humans! Lord Whedon cares not for the middlebrow serials piped through your shadow boxes — he is an auteur!” [HuffPo]
  • Rico Rodriguez, the loquacious young gentleman who plays Manny on Modern Family, renegotiated his contract last year and will now make $115,000 per episode, and he wishes you best of luck moving out of your parents’ basement. [TMZ]
  • Amanda Bynes has a new look. Or she’s become an officer in a shadow organization trying to revive the Soviet Union. It’s hard to tell, really. [Twitter]
  • Ray Winstone, the British actor best known for his roles as vaguely inarticulate mobsters, employed a poor choice of metaphors when he suggested that Great Britain has been “raped” by high taxes. [Mirror]
 
Join the discussion...