Beware 2010: Your Annual Ides Of March Lookout List

By Hortense Smith  |  March 14, 2010 | 9:20pm
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Beware, dear crew, for tomorrow is the Ides of March. But do not despair, for our annual ldes of March Lookout List has returned to remind you of things to watch out for on this oh-so-fateful day:

  • Sandwiches made by Lady Gaga
  • The Jabberwock, my son!
  • The jaws that bite, the claws that clench!
  • The View
  • The Oh, Snap! flowchart
  • Tucker Max
  • Tucker Max’s fans
  • People who say “irregardless”
  • Getting so hopped up on your caffeine pills that you can’t perform with your awesome band, Hot Sundae
  • Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara
  • Robots
  • Go-Bots
  • Gretchen Wieners’ hair (it’s full of secrets)
  • Jon Gosselin
  • John Mayer
  • John Locke
  • Don Johnson’s “Heartbeat” video
  • Sparkly vampires
  • Hardcore fans of The Notebook
  • Sexyface
  • ALL CAPS RANTS BY KANYE
  • Jennifer Aniston’s all-encompassing loneliness
  • The seductive powers of Sergio
  • People who have “Pitbull With Lipstick 2012” bumper stickers on their cars
  • Brad Pitt’s facial hair situation
  • “The Situation”
  • High schoolers who spontaneously burst into song in order to explain the peculiar nature of life
  • The ugliest shoes of all time
  • The “Hood Thong“
  • Pissing on Judge Judy’s leg and telling her it’s raining
  • Horcruxes
  • Getting involved with Don Draper, Roger Sterling, Pete Campbell, or basically anyone else who works at Sterling-Cooper
  • ManBearPig
  • People who do not recognize the greatness of cake
  • Baby-Laugh-A-Lot
  • Vajazzling

And now it’s your turn! Feel free to add your own warnings in the comments.

Earlier: Things To Beware Of On The Ides Of March

 
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