Bob Dylan Wasn't There

By Bobby Finger  |  November 30, 2016 | 11:25pm
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Bob Dylan has once again reenacted that scene in The Sound of Music when the announcer is like, “The Von Trapp Family Singers!” and everyone applauds but the Von Trapps don’t show up, and then he’s like, “The Family Von Trapp!” and everyone applauds but the Von Trapps don’t show up, and then the guy is like, “THEY’RE GONE!”—only instead of getting the FUCK out of Nazi-occupied Austria, he’s, I don’t know, smoking cigarettes on some rickety old bench while contemplating every other award he’s never given a shit about.

Just weeks after opting out of a trip to Sweden to pick up his Nobel Prize for Literature, Dylan has reportedly decided to be fashionably absent from “President Obama’s meet-and-greet” with American Nobel Prize winners.

Writes The Hill:

“Unfortunately, Bob Dylan will not be at the White House today. So everyone can relax,” Obama’s top spokesman, Josh Earnest, told reporters.
Earnest did not explain why Dylan decided not to attend.

I’d like call Dylan a rolling stone who gathers no awards, but he honestly just seems like a stationary clod of mud that eventually crumbles away to reveal a rusty harmonica. What a grump. Get your Nobel, old man! You’re being disrespectful!

 
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