I’m Pretty Sure This Is the Absolute Most You Can Swear at an Umpire and Get Away with It

Swearing has, of course, been part of baseball since time immemorial—and for as long as there have been umpires, there has also been the fine art of hurling verbal abuse at umpires. Historically, much of the harshest language has been confined to coaches and managers, who can subsequently get rung up and ejected from the game by an umpire once they’ve had their say, communicated that they’re fighting for their players, and “gotten their money’s worth,” to fall back on classic baseball gibberish. This actually allows both manager and umpire to save face in their own way: manager gets to act tough and be a figurehead, umpire gets to reassert their authority. Players, on the other hand, tend to walk more of a tightrope in terms of what they can get away with saying to an umpire’s face without getting immediately tossed—you never know if you’ll run into an ump feeling a bit sensitive that day who won’t hesitate to take it out on you. The exception, however, is when an umpire in the field truly screws up in a way that is indefensible … and you’re more or less free to hit them with your best shot, because they know they deserve it.

And wouldn’t you know it, one of those very moments was captured gloriously on screen for all the lip readers in the house to see in last night’s game between the Cincinnati Reds and Seattle Mariners, and boy, it was a doozy. It involves 30-year-veteran umpire Bill Miller—known as being, let’s say, not the most graceful man in the league, with proportions very much like you’re probably picturing for a stereotypical MLB umpire—getting in the way of a fielder attempting to make what would have been a relatively easy play, causing him to miss the ball. That, in turn, caused Reds pitcher Caleb Ferguson to turn apoplectic, and he wasn’t the most sensitive in his reaction, which was caught directly on camera in close-up. Turning to Miller, he hit him with the following: “F–king fatass, get out of the way. Fat motherf–ker.”

Yeah. Under any normal circumstances, you say something like this to an umpire, you’re rung up before the second sentence has finished exiting your lips. In this case, on the other hand, you can clearly see the embarrassment and shame blossoming on the red face of Bill Miller, a man who knows that he just screwed up royally. Ferguson did not get ejected, nor has there been any talk of suspension. At least Miller took the screaming like a gentleman, I guess?

Under the game’s actual rules, what Miller did is rather infuriatingly considered just a hazard of being out there on the field for a fielder. The umpire is obviously supposed to attempt to stay out of the way of the fielders, but if he accidentally collides with or hinders a fielder while they’re trying to make a play on the ball, the ball is considered to still be live or in play. Unlike cases of fan interference or runner interference with a fielder, the umpire cannot cause interference in a fielding attempt according to the official rules, although oddly it does count as interference if an umpire is struck by a batted ball. Regardless, the easiest way to think of it is that an umpire is basically a hazard in the field at the end of the day, like an outfield wall–it’s up to the player to avoid them. In this case, though, it’s clear that Miller simply screwed up. The moment it happened, he probably started anticipating he was going to hear about it from a pissed off Reds player or coach. And it makes perfect sense that it was Ferguson, given that he had just given up a grand slam to struggling “Big Dumper” Cal Raleigh in the same inning, and been hit by a batted ball two batters earlier. To say Ferguson was a little frustrated is an understatement! Dude wanted out of that nightmare inning, only to see Miller rob him of the chance.

Asked about the play later, after the game, Ferguson simply replied “You have to ask Bill” in reference to the umpire and answered no more questions. Reds manager Terry Francona was also loathe to talk much about it–probably not wanting the league to take a closer look–though he did note that Miller was probably out of position, saying the following: “You’d have to ask him. I don’t know. I don’t ever look up and think, well, where should an umpire be? That’s on them. It’s discouraging that it happened.”

Discouraging or not, it’s just the latest chapter of a rough season for the Reds, and also the kind of aggrandized mega swearing that rarely makes it onto a local TV broadcast, even in lip-reading form. I’d wager that no other player in the 2026 season will get to sound off quite so viciously or personally on an umpire and still seemingly come nowhere close to being ejected. Baseball is a game that reveres odd accomplishments: This is one for the mantle of Caleb Ferguson. Just don’t show the kids, if you put the quote on the plaque.