As the portmanteau’d PR chimera Hiddleswift continues to grow larger and larger while it feasts upon whatever is left of Tom Hiddleston’s dwindling soul, Calvin Harris wants you to know that Calvin Harris is doing just fine! perfectly fine!, perfectly so so so awesome!, and not thinking of how life is an existential wasteland!
Indeed, Taylor Swift’s most recent ex is doing great!, really great!, according to an anonymous source who spotted Harris at the Hollywood night club Warwick last week. As per the source, the Scottish DJ “sat at his own private table full of about eight to 10 girls” and was “in great spirits,” though it was unclear as to whether his eyes were deadened and lightless as he pantomimed the rote motions of other people, people he imagined did not feel so, so alone.