A radio host from Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia has set up a website called Cape Breton If Trump Wins to pitch the beautiful yet underpopulated island to terrified liberals. So far, he has received hundreds of serious inquiries.
In Cape Breton, radio host Rob Calabrese writes on the website, “women can get abortions, Muslim people can roam freely and the only ‘walls’ are holding up the roofs of our extremely affordable houses.” The website’s siren song continues:
We are an island about the same size as the Hawaiian Big Island, on the East Coast of Canada. We always rank high on travel magazine lists of beautiful islands. But we are experiencing a bit of a population problem at the moment. We need people. We need you!
This is not a joke! See for yourself, you belong here with us on Cape Breton Island, where health care is free, you know your neighbours and they look out for you, and nobody has a hand gun!
Despite being a well-regarded tourist destination, Cape Breton has a shaky economy and a steadily declining population, which, on the bright side, means that housing costs are very low.
The site also adds a note about the weather, which is a sensible thing to mention, because an island in Canada sounds cold as hell: “Yes, this is Canada, but Cape Breton isn’t frozen all year round! Our summers are delightful with highs in the 80-degree range. Winters here are very similar to the Northeast USA.” Here’s a video from the island’s actual website:
Okay! Yes, sure!
The site received 35,000 unique visitors on Wednesday and slammed Calabrese’s inbox with serious queries about this gorgeous, Trump-free paradise; he told the National Post: “I’m in disbelief. I wish everyone from Cape Breton could read them because they really make you proud of living here.”
This is an offer that I personally might take Cape Breton Island up on, not so much because I think Trump will win the presidency but because I enjoy whales, lighthouses, trees, Gaelic stuff, and non-strenuous outdoor activities, and I got street slush in my eye the other day. Bye, America!
