Here are the facts as we know them. Men, in general, walk faster than women. However, when hetero romantic couples (oooOOOh) are walking together they usually walk at the same speed. BUT WHO SETS THE SPEED? Can we get a high step for all the ladies in the house? Turns out we live in a Matriarchal Walking Society. (Just pretend that works.)
Yes, actual scientists studied this instead of coming over to my house and trying to crack the reason why I must believe, deep down, that piles are a more effective clothing sorting system than closets and dressers.
To study this, the researchers from Seattle Pacific University in Washington studied the walking speed choices of eleven men and eleven women as they walked around a track alone, with friends of the same and opposite sex, and with a significant other holding hands or hands-free.
In their study, released Wednesday, they found that when walking with women, men significantly slow their pace to their companions’, but only if the woman is their romantic partner. Walking with friends, whether it be friends of the same or opposite sex, did not significantly change pace for anyone, and women only slightly changed their pace when walking with their partner. The authors say this suggests that adjusting stride only happens for romantic partners.
But, word up, if your man is consistently leaving you in the dust, then maybe FUCK YOU and GOODBYE. Because who does that? (Besides my dad on his way to a postal auction in 1992. He was walking through the SF FiDi so fast that I got lost and went into a Walgreens and had to wait for my mom to come find me. Seriously, if I could’ve dumped my dad right then and there, I totally would have.) (Also, we never dated PUKE.)
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Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
