Do Not Join The Nation's Wine Club for Progressives; Join MY Wine Club for Progressives!

If there are two things I love on this earth, it’s politics and wine. If you don’t believe me, you may scroll through Jezebel’s many debate liveblogs from the past few months in which I participated; I guarantee I was partaking in the vino through almost all of them.

So imagine my delight when a newsletter came to my inbox from the good people at The Nation, touting an actual WINE CLUB with the tagline “World Class Wines That Support Progressive Journalism”! It really appeals to the senses, doesn’t it! As if that wasn’t enough, the subject line read, “Does the Donald Drive You to Drink?” WHY YES! YES HE DOES! (As previously evidenced in Jezebel’s debate wineblogs!) God, The Nation fucking gets me. Where’s the party?!

But imagine my disappointment when I realized the email was not, in fact, inviting recipients of its newsletter to come over and indulge in some primo Montepulciano and good political convo; it was in fact asking recipients to opt in to some thing where you pay them $70 and their exclusive cast of progressive sommeliers sends you a bottle of “organic or sustainable” wine a month, made by unionized or cooperative or environmentally sustainable workers. This is a very good cause, but to be frank, I am not going to join. All I really wanted was to hang out with my respected political elders and get crunk. If I’m wrong for that, I don’t want to be right.

That is why I have decided to launch my own, competing wine club; rather than a mail-order system, it is adherent to the rules of, say, a book club. In my wine club, we will meet in a previously agreed-upon public place (chosen by democratic vote, OF COURSE) and drink a previously agreed-upon wine (BYOW), which is really very likely NOT to be unionized or sustainable but will absolutely fall within a reasonable expectation of low cost and will absolutely be fucking delicious, at least after you’ve had a couple glasses.

What’s more, by hanging out and drinking wine with me, you will DEFINITELY be supporting my personal progressive journalism! A cause we can all feel great about.

If you’re all down for January, we shall be meeting later tonight in Central Park at the Columbus Circle entrance, a lovely location with a beautiful scenic view of Trump Tower. We will sit on a park bench and drink our wine from a paper bag while engaging in rigorous conversation, and when we are done (depending on vibe and level of inebriation) we will discard our wine bottles in the general direction of Trump Tower.

Anyone can join! (Must be 21!) Here is the list of each month’s wines:

January

2015 Gato Negro Cabernet Sauvignon, $4.98