Gwyneth Paltrow is Now Doing Ads For Luxury Apartments in Israel
I miss the old days when Paltrow was just an actress who never knew which Marvel movie she was in and lived a life of Vinyasa and fast-casual quinoa bowls.
Photo: Getty Images CelebritiesMisc. Goss Gwyneth Paltrow
I’m genuinely gooped at the Gwyneth Paltrow heel-turn we have witnessed this week, and I’ll try my best to get through it all without making any more goop-related puns, but it will be difficult. Laughing about Goop makes me miss the old days … back when Paltrow was just an actress who never knew which Marvel movie she was in and lived a life of Vinyasa and fast-casual quinoa bowls. Alas, not anymore.
Over the weekend, Paltrow found herself in a situation when a clip from The Goop Podcast went viral, in which she attempted to explain where she “is” politically. In the span of seconds, she said that her progressive husband thought she was a Republican, referred to herself as “pretty centrist,” then “completely independent,” then “I don’t feel anything right now.” I can’t fathom how there is anyone left who doesn’t “feel anything” about the state of our union. To make matters worse, she was randomly interviewing the founder of Anduril, a Palantir-type defense contractor and surveillance tech company that describes itself as “not your typical defense contractor.” The podcast guest, Trae Stephens, is also a partner at Founders Fund, a venture capital firm that Paltrow called “the best.” (Paltrow co-founded her own VC fund, Kinship, in 2021).
But it gets worse. On Sunday, the real estate group Aviv Melisron posted a short Instagram ad starring Paltrow, in which she promotes 51Park, an Israeli luxury residential development. The ad was filmed in New York despite the development being in Herzliya, a city north of Tel Aviv, which is apparently a prominent tech startup hub. While Hollywood figures having ties to Israel is not out of the ordinary, the ad itself is weird as hell.
In the ad, Paltrow struggles to wake from a restful night of sleep in a high-rise apartment building (again, in NYC). As she stirs, she delivers such witty one-liners as “who decided mornings should be so early?” and “even my coffee needs a coffee.” Paltrow then goes for a jog through Central Park, which is all set up for the line, “there’s a reason the world’s most iconic buildings are by a park.” She struts over to her driver and tells him to take her to 51Park. “New York?” the driver asks. “Herzliya,” she replies with that soft Gwyneth smile, “Israel.” 🙂
I theorized she might be struggling financially now that her Marvel contract has expired and she has to pay to get her daughter, Apple Martin, through film school, but now I suspect she owes a large sum to the mob. Or a plastic surgeon.
Never thought I would be here, wishing for Paltrow to go back to being an almond mom or suggesting new, fun ways to use vegetables as dairy substitutes, but here we are.
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