Heidi Klum Saves Son Henry from Drowning in Terrifying Evil Riptide

By Lindy West  |  April 2, 2013 | 12:00am
CelebritiesDirt Bag

First order of business, when I become lady-president, THE OCEAN WILL BE ILLEGAL. Seriously, that shit is just a big wet menace full of teeth and ghosts. And the other day it tried to steal away Heidi Klum‘s son Henry and both of his nannies, prompting AquaKlum to jump in and save their lives in some epic mom-heroics.

Heidi Klum is counting her blessings. While vacationing in Oahu, Hawaii, March 31, the German supermodel’s 7-year-old son, Henry, was swept away in a large riptide along with two nannies. Klum, 39, and her bodyguard boyfriend Martin Kirsten sprang to action and saved the trio from drowning.
“We got pulled into the ocean by a big wave. Of course, as a mother, I was very scared for my child and everyone else in the water,” the Project Runway host tells Us Weekly in an exclusive statement. “Henry is a strong swimmer and was able to swim back to land. We were able to get everyone out safely.”

I’m just saying. The ocean. Abolish it. (To clarify: I am not actually saying that.) [Us]

Angelina Jolie has opened an all-girls school just outside of Kabul, Afghanistan.

Angelina picked the village as the site of the school due to its high refugee population-regional fighting caused many locals to flee when their homes were destroyed, but since the collapse of the Taliban regime, families are slowly starting to return to the once-devastated area.)
The school itself currently educates between 200 and 300 girls and has already proven to have a huge impact on the local community.
Meanwhile, Jolie’s not stopping there, and already has plans to open other similar institutions, vowing that this will be just the first of many. As for how Brad Pitt’s fiancée is bankrolling her goodwill gesture, Jolie is releasing her personally designed jewelry collection, the Style of Jolie, to retail stores for the first time. She will use the profits from the line’s no doubt hefty sales to build even more schools around the world.

Yay, celebrities sometimes! [E!]

Beyonce and Andre 3000 are going to do a duet of Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black” for the Great Gatsby soundtrack! This is exciting to me!

Jay-Z is producing the soundtrack, which will be released by Interscope Records. “It’s a very different take on ‘Back to Black,'” a record company said.
This is Beyoncé and Andre 3000 second time working together. They first collaborated on Bey’s 2011 single, “Party.”

APPROVED. By lady-president West. [E!]

Nicki Minaj warned an eliminated Idol contestant to “be gracious” after he accused her of girl-on-boy sexism.

“I don’t know, she has a lot of girl power…Maybe she just wants a girl to win, you know?” he continued. “Just the fact that the girls have been so consistent with their songs and have such higher votes — I mean, the girls are amazing this year, and I have nothing bad to say about any of the contestants. As for the judges, you know…”
…”America r the ‘potential’ fans…u MUST win them over,” she tweeted later in response to Velez’s insinuations that she had been too hard on him. “‘Saves’ are bulls—t and they know it. Those girls are just too good this year.”
“Send the judges some flowers and a card. If Curtis [Finch Jr.] didn’t get SAVED, NONE of u get saved! Best male voice of the SEASON!!!!!!!!!!! #TruthTea,” she continued. “Trust me BEW BEW. If EYE didn’t want u in that TOP, YOU wldnt have been in that TOP. Fought for ALL of you. So just simply b gracious.”

It’s like two random word generators going through a divorce. [Us]

It appears that the death of Buckwild star Shain Gandee (and two passengers) may have been due to carbon monoxide poisoning after Gandee’s truck became stuck in mud.

Officials have retrieved Shain’s red Ford Bronco from the muddy pit where it was discovered … and judging by pictures of the car taken at the scene, it appears the vehicle was submerged past the window.
The photos seem to support the theory that the passengers died from carbon monoxide poisoning because the deadly fumes from the car could not escape through the tailpipe, which was completely submerged in the mud.

Condolences all around.

Here’s BuzzFeed with a quick round-up, in case you have no idea what Buckwild is. [BF]

Meanwhile, the mayor of Charleston, West Virginia—where Buckwild is filmed—says he hopes the show will be canceled following Gandee’s death. [TMZ]

  • Jennifer Garner and Brooke Burke-Charvet are in carpool together and I’m dead now because cuuuuuuuuuuute. [E!]
  • Flavor Flav‘s fiancee, Liz Trujillo, is currently hospitalized after overdosing on painkillers. Sources say the overdose was accidental and she’ll be released from the hospital soon. [TMZ]
  • More Duggars in the chute. [E!]
  • Patti Smith wears a Mockingjay pin! [HuffPo]
  • Was Amanda Bynes lashing out at Hairspray costar Nikki Blonsky with her cryptic/depressing “I plan on ignoring you on twitter and in life forever” tweet? [BuzzFeed]
  • Here is Taye Diggs being terrible at rapping. [EW]
  • Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spent Easter together, probably giving side-eye to a ham or something. [ShowbizSpy]
  • Jeff Dunham is safe. [DigitalSpy]
  • Seth Rogen and James Franco released a fake Pineapple Express 2 trailer because they are mean. [E!]

I hope your heart is wearing elasticated pants because it’s about to grow THREE SIZES THIS DAY.

 
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