How On Earth Did I Miss Chace Crawford's Enormous Dong in The Boys?

Promotional calendars for the show were sent out to various members of the Australian press and it appears that in these materials, Crawford’s Vienna sausage is on full display. In the show, the dong must have been digitally erased or otherwise tamped down, because I certainly didn’t notice. Per the images I have now seen, it’s pretty hard to miss.

Unfortunately, Jezebel was not lucky enough to receive this calendar, as Amazon’s marketing team likely thinks that our readers are not the target demographic for a show about superheroes gone bad— a reductive reading of our audience that I have come to accept. However, we are the target demographic for an unaltered photograph of Chace Crawford’s alleged penis. It’s there. Up and to the right. See it? Can’t miss it.

The physics of this arrangement are confusing, but much like a Magic Eye poster, the more you stare at it, the more sense it makes. It’s tucked up and over, perhaps attached to the upper stomach by tape or the snug embrace of his spandex superhero ensemble. This could be his actual penis, or it could be a log of pepperoni, complete with realistic dick head, for confidence. While the idea of the latter tickles me, I am sure it’s the former. Chace, my man. Good one.