The Fort Worth Zoo now has 185 pounds, 6 feet of baby giraffe, and I bet you anything that Stefano Gabbana is sitting in a shadowy wing of an Italian villa cackling “spots! Precious spots” while he sketches out the design for the next Melania Trump statement coat.
Yes, I’m sure somewhere out there some monster in the deepest darkest depths of Twitter is tenting their fingers and thinking about how to politicize this event. Look at this deadbeat siphoning off income tax deductions, they’ll say. This is an EPA publicity stunt for the Endangered Species Act! They’ll say. How can I capitalize on the giraffe cam? They’ll wonder. (ABC is actually reporting that). I just clicked the NBC news link to “Fort Worth Zoo Welcomes New Giraffe Calf,” and guess what? It opened a video about Russian hacks.
No. I will not link.