According to NASA’s official account, what I first thought to be an artistic rendering of a giant’s priapism-inflicted junk is actually an aeronautical model covered in pressure-sensitive paint. As per the pic’s caption, the bright pink paint is used to “test new aircraft designs that could cut fuel use in half, pollution by some 75% and noise to nearly one-eighth of what it is today.”
That’s all well and good, but I’m also pretty sure it’s a penis.
Okay, technically it’s a “generic launch vehicle model” covered in pressure-sensitive-paint. Right, I get it. But then again, it’s pink and obviously throbbing in all of its ultraviolet glory, and I’m sure Donald Trump and his medium-sized hands are very, very jealous of it right now. So that should count for something, right?
Also, two words: “pressure sensitive.”
Though I fully intend to contact NASA’s top rocket experts with the hope of confirming exactly how phallic this obviously phallic object is, I realize I have no idea how to even begin composing an email like that. Should I just send eggplant emojis? Is there a style guide for this? Please send help.
P.S. NASA, if you’re reading—DM me.
