Jump Scare! Armie Hammer Called Himself a “Consumer”

Armie Hammer, the disgraced actor and accused rapist, is attempting a comeback with a new film along with a new Hollywood Reporter profile titled “Armie Hammer Wants a Second Chance.” No thanks.

In 2021, Hammer faced accusations of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from multiple women, including an allegation of rape from a woman with whom he had an affair during his marriage to Elizabeth Chambers. In 2023, LA’s District Attorney’s office announced that the state would not pursue criminal charges against Hammer following a brief investigation into the rape accusation. According to Hammer, he lived off the grid during these years, crashing on friends’ couches and cycling through burner phones purchased at gas stations. However, with the Arm and Hammer family inheritance running dry, it was only a matter of time before the actor attempted to weasel back into Hollywood.

On Tuesday, The Hollywood Reporter published a profile of Hammer about this supposed “second chance” and to promote his upcoming project, Citizen Vigilante, directed by “world’s worst director” Uwe Boll. At the beginning of the interview, he tells THR’s Seth Abramovitch, “I called my publicist on the way here. She asked if I was sure about this. I told her: ‘Do you think anything Seth can write is going to move the needle compared to what I’ve been through the last five years?’” I certainly hope not.

“I used to call myself a consumer,” he told Abramovitch. “Drinks, women, validation, experiences—I just wanted to consume. All of it. More, more, more.” Consumer is an interesting choice of word considering he was accused of violently raping a woman. (Back in 2021, some sensational screenshots of Hammer’s text exchanges with women were also spread online, which have since been referred to by outlets as “cannibalistic fantasies.” So the word consumer really REALLY isn’t helping here.)

“I made these problems for myself,” he added. (Problems = multiple women coming forward with their stories corroborating his abuse?) “This didn’t happen to me by a fluke accident. I didn’t do what people are saying I did. But I brought very dangerous and unsafe people into my life, and I pissed off people in my life—and here we are.” He also tells the story of a self-described “hero’s journey” moment in which he was the hero (???) meeting his mentor via an “old Jamaican guy” (???) who taught him a valuable lesson about friendship (???).

As for his return to Hollywood, Hammer tells the outlet, “I would have done a fucking cat food commercial.” In 2025, he starred in the independent western Frontier Crucible, and most recently, Boll’s Citizen Vigilante, which has already been banned in Germany after being denied classification by the country’s rating system.

If this profile is his attempt to explain his past, we don’t need it, and we don’t need him back in Hollywood, but the sex pests always seem to find their way back.