Kimye to Reveal Holy Child on Kris Jenner's Crappy Talk Show

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Kim and Kanye will be revealing North West on Kris Jenner’s talk show in order to save her Mama Rose ass from cancellation. After Ye couldn’t convince Anna Wintour to care, they rejected a $4 million offer from an Australian paper and another “well over $10 million” to show the first photo on Kris.

It’s not about the money: “They were planning on giving it away to [Kanye’s] charity anyway.” Instead, it is for the noble cause of pimping out their child in order to keep a worse-than-average daytime talk show on the air. Considering Kanye was looking into monthlies for the reveal “in the vein of W” and “shot by Mario Testino,” this is probably not what he had in mind. Like Diane Keaton when she married Al Pacino in The Godfather. [Radar Online]

Walter Cronkite Excellence in Journalism Award-winning news outlet the National Enquirer says that Ellen Degeneres is hunting down a plastic surgeon to get poppin’ fresh for the Oscars.

The 55-year-old talk-show host, who prides herself on her youthful appear­ance, has been busy consulting with experts on the best proce­dures to erase years but leave her looking as if she’s had “nothing done” when she head­lines the March 2 broadcast, ac­cording to an insider.

Then a plastic surgeon has like five paragraphs about what she COULD do to cast herself out of that cursed crone flesh withered by so many seasons. [National Enquirer]

Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel were spotted on a dinner date in the Hamptons, and then grocery shopping at Citarella, so they might be having sex in the Georgia Dome on the 50-yard line while the Dirty Birds kick for t’ree. I wonder if there is a Gristedes in the Hamptons, and if you need a passport to get in. [Lainey Gossip]

Anna Wintour took a plane from Long Island to Chelsea Piers. Too bad Eddie Murphy wasn’t on it to turn an unnecessary 3-minute plane ride into a Hilarious Odd-Couple Action Movie. [NYDN]

  • Paris and Prince Jackson are drifting apart. [TMZ]
  • And here are the first pics of Paris since she left for boarding school. [Radar Online]
  • Lindsay Lohan is hanging out with an old party friend who some say is/was her “sugar daddy.” Side-eyes. [TMZ]
  • One Direction’s Niall Horan might be dating chanteuse Ellie Goulding, who is Skrillex’s ex (SkrillEx.) [Ocean Up]
  • “I haven’t combed my hair since the Golden Globes.” -Tina Fey [Zap2it]
  • Chrissy Teigen is having a pilates bachelorette party instead of the normal “going to a club and flirting with a guy wearing a turquoise necklace” thing. [People]
  • Justin Bieber said some canned Justin Bieber stuff about wanting a wife and kids and knowing how to treat a woman right and something about God. [Ocean Up]
  • Louis C.K. WOULD be the guy who finds a dead body in the East River. [Gossip Cop]
  • My mom’s boyfriend David Cassidy was arrested for a DUI. [Gossip Cop]
  • Why were you not at Beyoncé stylist’s birthday party? [Page Six]
  • “Beyoncé ordered her entourage $2,200 worth of wings, chickens, veggie burgers, and sides.” FUUU. Bey, I’ll do anything. [The Cut]
  • Rosanna Arquette got married for the fourth time, to an investment banker. [People]
  • Former Seacrest-fucker Julianne Hough has a new boyfraaaaaand. [Page Six]
  • Kim Cattrall swears by “fizzy yoga,” which is yoga/physical therapy. Oh, Samantha. [Us Weekly]
  • Julianna Margulies is being taken to court by her former manager. [Page Six]
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