Kim Kardashian‘s video game — Kim Kardashian Hollywood, a humiliatingly addictive iPhone app in which you mostly buy outfits and stand around in various fashionable locales whilst virtual people throw wads of cash at you — may generate up to $200 MILLION THIS YEAR, via in-app purchases. This is not a drill.
I am not going to say anything judgmental about this, because, as the old adage goes, “Let she who has not drunkenly spent $5 procuring more Kardashian Energy in order to complete a virtual photoshoot cast the first stone.” Quoth an industry analyst, “Obviously Kim Kardashian’s brand has driven people to download the game. But at this point, the game has taken on a life of its own.” Indeed. [The Hollywood Gossip]
IN RELATED-ISH NEWS, Kim and Kanye have only spent 9 days together since getting married, according to a dubious report. According to a “source,” Kanye was dismayed to find out that Kim’s only interests are shopping and lounging. Uh, whatever, haters. I will have you know that lounging is a very versatile activity into which you can incorporate many things that Kanye likes, such as talking about fashion sneakers and being conscious of one’s personal brand. Also, most importantly, playing Kim Kardashian Hollywood. [Dlisted]
Aaaaand, in an interview with Elle, Kim was asked to recommend a “pregnancy style.” She responded, “I recommend hiding for a good year and having no pregnancy style. That’s what I recommend. If you can do it, hide. Never leave the house… That’s really my recommendation. Wear a huge blanket.” Which, you know, makes sense because of all the hideously mean things tabloids said about her. Also, who knows, huge blankets could come in soon. [Gossip Cop]
Kesha wrote an essay about going to rehab to get treatment for her eating disorder for Elle, and it’s heartbreaking: “I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body. I wanted to control things that weren’t in my power, but I was controlling the wrong things. I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny was part of my job. It felt safer somehow.” Fortunately, she’s doing much better now. Stay strong, Kesha!!! [Billboard]
Jared Leto Instagrammed a photo of himself blissfully hugging a tree, and some beautiful and noble human has Photoshopped it so that he is hugging every tree, as well as an errant dog who’s chilling beside the tree. In posterity, this will be remembered as the most important piece of art from the 21st century. [E!]
- Jake Gyllenhaal and Rachel McAdams were spotted dancing together at a pub. Who knows if they are dating or just friends, but I am thankful that their time together yielded this glorious bit of information: “Gyllenhaal, for his part, stuck to Guinness — that is, when he wasn’t doing Trey Songz’s Wobble Dance! ‘He wasn’t bad at all,’ the source notes.” JAKE GYLLENHAAL: GUINNESS DRINKER, RECREATIONAL WOBBLER. [Us]
- Robin Thicke‘s album sold less than 55 copies in Australia. Haha. Hahahahaha. [News.com.au]
- A forensic artist has predicted what the Ryan Gosling/Eva Mendes baby will look like. According to the projections: if it’s a boy, he will be a very handsome Benjamin Button; if it’s a girl, she will carry the ghosts of our collective trauma in her haunted gaze. [Radar]
- Jimmy Kimmel and his wife have welcomed their third child onto this terrifying planet; it’s a girl and her name is Jane. Congratulations to them! [ONTD]
- Fifty Shades of Grey is making a big fucking deal about the trailer, which will provoke aroused(???) grimaces worldwide in just two weeks. CAN’T WAIT. [ONTD]
- Zayn Malik from One Direction threw a giant carnival party for his fiancee’s 21st birthday. (Zayn, I am 23 and my birthday is in October, but I appreciate your generosity anyway <3) [ONTD]
- Justin Theroux says he came up with “the idea of selling cheap beer for lots of money.” Thanks for nothing, Justin. [Page Six]
- Vanessa Hudgens‘ slippers look extremely comfortable. [Just Jared]
- Ryuichi Sakamoto was diagnosed with throat cancer 🙁 In a statement, he said, “After much thought and consideration, I have decided to take time off of work in order to concentrate on treating it. I promise to return after a full recovery.” [ONTD]