Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons Had the Baby!!!

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Some beautiful news on this beautiful morning from a beautiful couple whose relationship gives me hope where there generally is none: Jesse Plemons and Kirsten Dunst had the baby!! Congratulations to Kiki and Lance!

Like my colleague Bobby Finger noted in December when news of Dunst’s pregnancy broke, I am not friends with Kirsten Dunst or Jesse Plemons and probably never will be, as they are famous and I am very much not. However, the two of them radiate normalcy as much as any two famous people can, especially if one of the people in question has been famous from a very young age. Might be nice to just sit at dinner in their beautiful home and have a wine. I’d make the vinaigrette for the salad and we’d have a lovely time.

This elaborate fantasy means that the news of their bouncing bundle of joy—a boy!—brings me great pleasure! Though the couple has yet to confirm the news of the baby’s birth or announce the baby’s name, sources told People, “Everyone is doing great.”


Even though Tristan Thompson got caught out with an Instagram model named Lani Blair like, a day and a half before Khloe Kardashian was going to give birth to his child and despite Kris Jenner and the Sisters Kardashian’s protests and exhortations against this very thing that I am about to share, I regret to inform you that Khloe has taken Tristan back for now:

A source told us, “Khloé has stuck with [Cleveland Cavs star] Tristan, because she loves him . . . she has stuck with him over the objections of her mom and her sisters, who begged her to bring the baby back to LA and live with the family. They are worried about Khloé — but she insists she’s putting their baby first, and she wants to stay a family.”

Fine. I get it. Khloe!!

[Page Six]

Just happy to see Mariah Carey doing things, that’s all!


  • Someone please greenlight a Smash reboot so that we can save Katherine McPhee from the clutches of David Foster, a man she publicly appeared with at the Met Ball. Thanks!! [People]
  • Did you predict Scarlett Johansson would be the first A-list celeb to appear in Marchesa, the cursed line designed by Georgina Chapman, after the Weinstein scandal? Yeah, me….neither? [Daily Beast]
  • Pardon me, but Cardi B and Nicki Minaj are NOT feuding as plainly evidenced by this photo of them clutching each other’s arms and TALKING at the Met Ball, as the devil Jeremy Scott looms in the background. [Us Weekly]
  • Amber Heard handled her run in with Elon Musk, her ex who is now DATING GRIMES???, with grace. [Daily Mail]
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin