Learning History With Dr. President 

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• President Trump raised some eyebrows today when he decided to shit on General Mattis, at some length. But that didn’t beat Trump’s history lesson on the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the ‘80s! It’s! Something!

• Romney wrote a thing. [Washington Post]
• And his niece was pressed about it:

• Surprise: New Interior Secretary was an oil guy [NPR]
• There’s a new daycare for employees in the House of Representatives. Naturally, there’s already a wait list. [NPR]
• Netflix pulled an episode of Patriot Act from streaming in Saudi Arabia due to its critical stance against the Saudi government. [Deadline]
• New Yorkers can now enjoy $15 minimum wage, thanks to a six-year long campaign started by fast food workers. [New York Times]
• We can expect some changes to Georgia’s shitshow of an election system. [Politico]
• Border Patrol agents celebrated the New Year by launching tear gas at migrants across the Mexican border. [New York Times]
• Some believe Melania Trump cropped her son, Barron, out of a New Year’s photo, which… LOL [Express]
• Young immigrants who were abused by their parents and unlawfully denied legal protections are suing the Trump administration. [Los Angeles Times]
• Elizabeth Warren likes Michelobe Ultra. Hm. [Boston Globe]
• Native Americans are feeling the brunt of Trump’s government shutdown. [New York Times]
• The government shutdown is also turning the country’s national parks into lawless hellscapes. [Washington Post]
• Seriously this is ridiculous:

• And if you want some more garbage content…

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.