Lindsay Lohan Might Have Stolen Elizabeth Taylor's Treasured Magic Bracelet of Friendship
CelebritiesDirt BagIf this item is true, my mouth is going to turn into a perfectly cylindrical firehose of barf and not stop super-soaking everything I behold until approximately 2018 (or I die of a Vitamin Barf deficiency—whichever comes first). Apparently, during the filming of Liz & Dick, Lindsay Lohan made the acquaintance of Elizabeth Taylor‘s beloved nurse, who showed LiLo a very special bracelet that had been a gift to the nurse from Liz. Then, on that very same day, the bracelet mysteriously disappeared. Because, says the nurse, LiLo fucking yoinked it. But wait, you don’t understand! If she DID steal it, it’s only because she really really wanted it! See?! Why are you all so meeeeeeean!?!?
“Lindsay became very good friends with Elizabeth Taylor’s longtime nurse while shooting Liz & Dick,” a source close to the situation tells Radar. “Elizabeth had given the nurse an expensive bracelet that was very meaningful to her and the nurse absolutely cherished it. Lindsay immediately fell in love with the bracelet the minute she saw it and was very vocal about how much she admired it. A short time later, the bracelet disappeared from the nurse’s house … on the very same day Lindsay had been to visit.
“The nurse initially gave Lindsay the benefit of the doubt, thinking that she had just accidentally forgotten to take the bracelet off after trying it on. However, that theory was soon shot down after she called Lindsay and she swore she did not take the bracelet and categorically denied having it in her possession. The nurse knew that was a blatant lie as the bracelet disappeared after Lindsay was at the house and she knew that it had to have been Lindsay who took it. In the end, it took over a week to get the bracelet back from Lindsay and it was only returned after the nurse threatened to call the cops. One of Lindsay’s people eventually returned the bracelet to the nurse, who was extremely upset about what had transpired,” the source says.
If this is true, if, IF, if this is true…DOOD. LOHAN. FOR FUCK’S SAKE. THE WORLD DOES NOT OWE YOU SHIT. GET A FUCKING GRIP OR GET SOME HELP ALREADY. Also, you should write Donald Trump a letter and thank him for continuing to be alive. He’s the only thing between you and a Shittiest Person in America trophy right now. [Radar]