Louis C.K. Says He Supports Hillary Because She's a 'Tough Bitch Mother'

The comedian made an appearance on Conan Tuesday night, and Conan got right to the point and asked who he planned to vote for. To Louis C.K.’s credit, he doesn’t hesitate to say he’s voting for Clinton, and not just because she’s the lesser of two evils. C.K. claims that he’d vote for Clinton over anybody, saying, “I think she’s super smart. It’s really exciting to have the first mother in the White House. It’s not about the first woman, it’s about the first mom.”

Wait, what? He expanded: “A mother just does it. She feeds you and teaches you, she protects you, she takes care of shit. We’ve had 240 years of fathers. Bald father, fat father, every kind of father… a great father can give a kid 40 percent of his needs, top. Any mother, just a shit mother, just a not even trying mother: 200 percent.”

Louis C.K. frequently expounds on the power of womankind (while also being chased by persistent sexual harassment rumors), but like many semi-comedic takes on gender dynamics from a man, the message is a bit confusing. For example, he thinks Donald Trump tries to make everybody pay whenever he feels insulted, but Hillary Clinton moves past insults. That’s good, because Louis C.K.’s compliments sound pretty insulting:

We need somebody who can take abuse. Hillary Clinton can take abuse. She’s been taking it and taking it. We’ve been hazing her, we’ve been holding her down and spitting in her mouth and yelling at her, and she just keeps working!

…

I don’t want somebody who’s likeable and cool anymore. We need a two-faced, conniving, crazy, just somebody who’s got a million schemes. By the way every email she’s ever wrote is in the newspapers and she’s not in jail which is amazing. We need just a tough bitch mother who nobody likes. If you vote for Hillary, you’re a grown-up. If you vote for Trump, you’re a sucker. If you don’t vote for anybody, you’re an asshole.

In summation, Louis C.K. is stanning for Hillary Clinton but also maybe thinks she’s his mom and is crazy and will wipe his butt. This is democracy, people.