Mama Mia! Is Meryl Dead?!

This is a happy, joyful musical about people living on a Greek island paradise whose greatest problem is having too many dads who love them. So, it would be weird if the titular Mama was deceased, but much of the trailer focuses on how brave she was, and other people telling her story. It’s a story that Amanda Seyfried’s Sophie needs to hear, because she’s pregnant. She’s about to be the Mama, and she needs some Mama-Inspo. But Where Is Mama?

We do get to see young Donna’s getting laid journey, featuring some very hot new actors embodying the spirit of Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgård. They’re much nicer to look at, but more boring, because who are they? Luckily, this film will not be short on charismatic bit players. Cher’s entry into the scene is given the weight it deserves. Perhaps Meryl Streep will get to make a grand entrance as well, when it turns out her character is in fact not dead, she just had amnesia and was on a world tour with the three hunky actors from The Early Years. Now that’s a happy ending!