Melania Emerges, Reportedly


Exclusive footage from the East Wing:

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • After spending 24 days in her void, it was announced that Melania Trump would be present at an event honoring Gold Star families tonight. Unfortunately, that event is not open to the press. So we will just have to take their word for it. [CNN]
  • After shooting tariffs at our allies as though they were spitballs, Donald Trump and his great love Emmanuel Macron appear to be on the rocks, as sources say a recent phone conversation between the pair was “Just bad. It was terrible.” [CNN]
  • Good evening, it’s time for another story about Scott Pruitt asking aides to do mysterious and incredibly sketchy tasks for him. According to testimony released today, Pruitt instructed an aide to procure a used mattress from the Trump International Hotel. [NBC]
  • Oh good, another billionaire is thinking about running for president. Love how confident they all are! [CNBC]
  • California’s jungle primary is tomorrow and it could be a real shit show for the Democrats. [New York Times]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.

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