Melania Still Mostly Hates Her Husband


Melania Trump, the most bullied person in the world, will not be accompanying Donald Trump as he campaigns for the midterm elections across the country.

“Due to her schedule as a mother and First Lady, especially with the holidays coming up, there are no plans for her to campaign at this time,” her communications director, Stephanie Grisham, said in a statement.

That’s too bad, because I was really enjoying Melania’s return to the public eye, in which she cosplayed a colonizer in a multi-nation tour of Africa and cautioned America’s childen to not turn into her husband at a cyberbullying summit. However, the prospect of accompanying her mushroom-dicked husband across the country is just one indignity too much. I get that.

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