Melania Still Mostly Hates Her Husband

“Due to her schedule as a mother and First Lady, especially with the holidays coming up, there are no plans for her to campaign at this time,” her communications director, Stephanie Grisham, said in a statement.

That’s too bad, because I was really enjoying Melania’s return to the public eye, in which she cosplayed a colonizer in a multi-nation tour of Africa and cautioned America’s childen to not turn into her husband at a cyberbullying summit. However, the prospect of accompanying her mushroom-dicked husband across the country is just one indignity too much. I get that.