Welcome to the first and only entry in our limited series ‘Memba When, in which we blog about the intersection of cute dog stories and car stories that Jalopnik wrote about days prior.
Early on in this stunning NBC Bay Area report, a witness tells the reporter, “I didn’t know dogs could drive.” The problem with that man’s revelation, however, is that the incident he’s discussing does not prove dogs can drive at all. If dogs could drive, they would not have crashed (bonked?) some old woman’s dang Buick into a Wayne, West Virginia Walmart. No no, this is a story that confirms what we already knew: dogs can’t drive.
It all started when a woman “in her late 70s” left her two small pets inside her big Buick while she went shopping at the local Walmart. Wanting to keep the helpless animals nice and cool in the sticky West Virginia heat, she left the engine running, but because life, uh, finds a way, one of the pups managed to knock the car out of park—after which it rolled slowly and unthreateningly for a few feet before giving the Walmart’s cheek a friendly little peck.
Just look at the security footage! No one was afraid of that Mercury.
Both the car and the store suffered “very minor” damage, and the dogs were “just fine, despite not wearing their seat belts.”
Said shopper Dakota Davis, “It’s not something you hear every day, but I guess it is Wayne County.”
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Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
