Met Gala 2023 Red Carpet: An Eye-Popping Tribute to a Bad Man

The first Monday in May! Fashion’s biggest, spendiest night of the year! The Met Gala is upon us.

Tonight, Anna Wintour has decided to honor the legacy of her good friend, a man who once said, “If you don’t want your pants pulled about, don’t become a model”: Karl Lagerfeld. While I have no illusions about the integrity of fashion’s blue bloods, it’s still disheartening for this year’s theme to be “Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty.” Perhaps, though, in the sense that the bigoted, fatphobic, and sexist late Chanel creative director found anyone with a frame thicker than a straight line to be unworthy of fashion, it’s an apt phrase.

Along with Wintour, co-chairs of this year’s event, which serves as a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, are Michaela Coel, Penélope Cruz, Roger Federer, and Dua Lipa.

People were hotly anticipating that Kendall Jenner, the world’s most underwhelming fashion model who was also friends with Lagerfeld, would make her public debut with horseback riding companion, Bad Bunny—though they showed up separately. And of course, the promise of Rihanna, who’s nailed every single Met Gala theme (and basically everything else) she’s attended, arriving bedecked in a $25 million worth of crystals and very pregnant with baby #2 puts a bandaid on the Lagerfeld bullet wound.

One way I’m choosing to look at it is that Lagerfeld would be miserable seeing people larger than a size 0 (he once said Heidi Klum was “too heavy and has too big a bust”) wearing Chanel at an event in his name. It’s nice to think of him being a little bit annoyed at any semblance of body positivity, wherever he is now. (Hell?)

So buckle up, it’s big dress time! (We’re going to be updating this slideshow throughout the evening, so check back for more l0oks.)

We waited almost five full hours for Rihanna to show up, and not only did she show up with fake eyelashes on top of her sunglasses, but A$AP wore a kilt over bedazzled jeans. This fever dream was all worth it.

It’s like black and white queen of hearts! Florence, I’ll follow wherever you may flow.

“Viola Davis, my flamingo queen.” Someone get Ariana DeBose on the line, I have a remix hit in the making.

No historical garments were harmed in the making of this look! I repeat! No historical—actually, you know what, I have no idea the provenance of this puka shell halter dress, but she looks hot.

Something sort of nun-like about Cardi’s look. Sister Act 5: Wet Ass Pussy? Just an idea.

Glitter goth Vegas showgirl! I can appreciate that!

Oh no, J.Lo, the coronation is this weekend! You got your fancy events mixed up!

These two could have shown up in sweatpants with Cheeto dust on them and they’d be my favorite, most glowing duo of the night. What they’ve gone through this year is unthinkable. But of course, they look absolutely excellent and suave, and I’m so happy they’re here enjoying themselves.

Notably not arriving with Kendall! But that’s okay, it seems like he...needs a lot of space tonight.

Anytime anyone manages to wear red and blue and not look like a patriotic nerd, I am wildly impressed. Actually a huge fan of this look.

Using my Gen-Z card (that I stole from a younger, hipper coworker) to say Mother is Mothering!!!!

Uhm, a lot of fabric. That’s what I’ll say. A lot of fabric.

Well, I’m taking the photographer’s word for it that this is Erykah Badu. Could literally be anyone! (But it’s probably Erykah Badu.)

One way to lighten the heavy tweeds we are seeing all night is to slice it up like this and be a tweed mermaid princess!

Anna Wintour used the Met Gala to debut her new boyfriend!!! Bill Nighy!!! Excuse me!! Anyways, they look like the mother and stepfather of the bride.

Salma looks like a bottle of my favorite nail polish!

Queen Frostine has made her entrance! Lots of textures going on with this look.

My king looks so bad. No notes. <3

Move over Little Boy Blue, it is all about Little Boy Red! That arrow at the end of his tie is pointing to my favorite part of this outfit—Pedro Pascal’s bare legs.

Alright, come back Little Boy Blue. You look great, too.

While I am tempted to make a joke about these two dating, I will refrain. What really needs to be pointed out is that this might be the first bucket hat on the Met Gala carpet? Pete looks like an adult spy kid; Michelle looks like a CEO I would let fire me. This is huge Roman and Gerri energy.

This look is part bell hop, part Helena Bonham Carter.

Eloise at the Plaza! That’s what this big black hair bow is yelling out to me.

Alright, I’ll ask what is on everyone’s minds: What temperature do you set the thermostat for these two in these outfits?!

My alien space prince has arrived! Now let’s get a twirl...

This is what art looks like, baby! I hope he doesn’t suffer from swamp ass!

The flare in Keith’s trousers? Nicole’s posed hand? This wax figure couple alone is keeping Hollywood glamour alive.

Jobu Tupaki business glam!

All eyes on her in the center of the ring, just like a circus!

My sincere hope is that Lizzo went this boring as a “fuck you” to Karl. Her bangs are cute, though.

Fingerless leather gloves and a pin stripe suit!? Get him on Emily in Paris next season! No, in all seriousness, Ke Huy Quan looks fly as all hell.

Hot (new) mama alert! Wow, I didn’t know I needed to see Keke Palmer with a volumized blow out, but I’m learning new things about myself everyday.

Looks like there’s one person left in this town willing to have some goddamn fun!!! Doja is paying homage to Choupette, Lagerfeld’s famous cat, who did announce earlier today (with regret) that they wouldn’t be attending the gala tonight.

Okay, I know I just commended Doja Cat for having a little fun, but Jared Leto has taken it too far. This is scary. I am scared.

Your outfit can be a little overwhelming when you’re mostly at the event to announce your second pregnancy (!!).

Here we have one of tonight’s co-chairs playing homage to Lagerfeld’s famous Chanel brides he would start each runway show with. Do u take this man? I Dua! Har har. Lovely dress with which you can later reupholster your couch.

You could dress this man up in Swarovski crystals, and he would never beat the “just came in from shooting hoops” vibes, I fear.

This is the perfect outfit for a ring bearer!! (We love her.)

This might be my favorite look of the night?! It’s elegant and adventurous. It’s taking me through a lot of turns, like a sexy car commercial. I dig it.

Excuse me while I tune out this weird guitar dress. While I imagine this is what every hottie in Laurel Canyon would wear to a gala, Olivia, we are on the Upper goddamn East Side.

Ope! The EIC of Vogue China is wearing the same dress as Olivia but in black. These gals really need to start a group chat prior to the event.

Rachel Boobs-nahan, more like it. Got ‘em!

Thanks, I hate it.

Marry me. (And wear this, please.)

I say this with nothing but love, but every straight couple in Los Angeles wore this to a wedding last summer!

Here comes another bride aka co-chair! This icy palette feels a bit wasted on Cruz, who warms arguably every single part of my body.

Buckling up for all the pink and black we’re about to drown in this evening! The floral hair sprigs and celestial embroidery saves this look for me. And also my unending love for Ms. Brunson and her fashion choices.

Debuting bangs at the Met Gala alert! Is that the bravest thing a woman can do!?! (No.) Not much to say about this lovely but sort-of-boring gown other than it looks like it could too easily get sucked into a jet engine.

This is the perfect bridal look if you need to attend 4th period at the Gossip Girl high school right after the ceremony.

Dwyane is certainly giving a Star Trek dungeon master vibe in this all-black Prada look. I wonder what’s in that little zip pouch on his glove? My heart?

“She’s no angel,” an ultra-divorced and envious Tom Brady is growling somewhere. I did legitimately think she was wearing angel wings.

Intergalactic jellyfish!! Or maybe this look is what I imagine the calcified chandeliers of the Titanic look like at this point. Anyway, I would travel to the bottom of the ocean for this look—it’s insane and I love it.

It’s always been a dream of mine to just wrap myself in my comforter and head out for the evening. It’s difficult to see someone else living my best life.

Meow! The SNL star looks like one of those everlasting rose bouquets finance guys buy their fashion marketing/PR girlfriends. How lovely!

This is what the waiters look like on the Starship Enterprise! And guess what? I’m tipping him 25%!!

Wow is Michaela Coel the sun?? Because I want to start a civilization worshipping her. Also this outfit is full on solar power. I need everyone to pay attention to these shoes, too: the most creative way to circumnavigate Wikifeet!

Davey looks like an evil tech billionaire trying to fit in with the youth in this all-white ensemble and his signature bicycle. It’s very dashing, but the sneakers are the best part.

I think this look falls into elevated business casual. She might be the first person to wear socks and sandals to the Met Gala!

Barbie who?!! La La looking svelte and glamorous on the Pan-Am (I’m assuming) carpet.

We love a statement train/cape. Chains seem to be a recurring accessory this year. Peep husband Taika Waititi waiting patiently besides her, posing in the opposite direction. Would have loved more coordination between these two!

Consider me whelmed. Not under, not over, just whelmed. The pearl embellishments remind me of those green screen suits Marvel actors wear.

Much like Ben Platt himself, my grandmother would absolutely love this look.

Everyone looks a little too casual for my taste this year. The Dog might have Power, but this look is giving executive assistant, at best.

Something very fawn-like about this look! Maybe it’s the hat that look like whimsical antlers? Tems is a gorgeous magic forest.

Another one of my favorites of the evening. Pastels can sometimes look so casual, but this looks so elegant! And that eye shadow?! Come on! Lovely in lilac!