New York Fashion Week 2023: Animals, Insects, and So Many Fucking Flowers

Making fun of floral designs is out! Loving the fuck out of flowers and celebrating all the little creatures that live in and among them is in, apparently.

BeautyStyle




Photo: Getty Images

It’s been close to two decades since The Devil Wears Prada premiered and Miranda Priestly all but spat on one of her Runway editors who’d suggested floral accessories for an upcoming editorial: “Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking.” It’s a good joke...a great joke even. But I think it’s time to let that joke rest in peace among all the other ruins of the early aughts, including low-rise jeans and dresses worn over said jeans.

There are more than 40,000 flower species across the world—who are we, a bunch of big, fleshy, oaths that stomp around the Earth dumping gas and concrete on everything, to deem flowers not groundbreaking? Plus, these are the designers’ Fall/Winter 2023 collections, so they’re technically not even for spring.

Anyway, flowers are IN. So are fairies, butterflies, animal masks, scrambled egg nipples, and bonnets. Please join us on this journey through the current New York Fashion Week.

Prabal Gurung

Prabal Gurung
Photo: Getty Images

Where labia meet strawberry ice cream. This coat hits all my interests.

Mondo Guerra

Mondo Guerra
Photo: Getty Images

Need more designers to start drawing their floral inspiration from Limited Too’s (RIP) inflatable furniture and accessories.

Christian Siriano

Christian Siriano
Photo: Getty Images

The roses lining the runway can be recycled afterward for the funerals of the interns who undoubtedly had to find, plant, grow, love, and care for, then pluck and place. Rest in power.

Rodarte

Rodarte
Photo: Getty Images

18th-century widow, but make it less “in mourning” and more “I’m the one who murdered him,” with a Handmaids Tale bonnet twist.

Puppets & Puppets

Puppets & Puppets
Photo: Getty Images

A real femme-fatale take on Beauty and the Beast: Belle steals the rose, fiddles around with the magic then, instead of falling in love with the Beast, curses him to forever live as a screen print on her new pair of pants. The scrambled egg bra is a metaphor for cracking open the societal expectations placed on women, or something.

Private Policy

Private Policy
Photo: Getty Images

It’s always “what does the fox say?” and never “how does the fox feel?”—until now. Brava.

Denisa Palsha

Denisa Palsha
Photo: Getty Images

Florals for the depths of winter? This puffy parka sets one up nicely for a sub-zero Garden of Eden.

Collina Strada

Collina Strada
Photo: Getty Images

Anyone who ever doubted horse girls and guys who wear reptile shirts’ ability to coexist is shaking in their boots! Finally, peace within the weirdo animal community, wrapped into one outfit.

Carolina Herrera

Carolina Herrera
Photo: Getty Images

This fit screams, “I’m not a regular boss who is going to lay you off from your job, I’m a cool boss who is going to lay you off from your job in a meeting with the password, ‘Spring is here.’

Rodarte

Rodarte
Photo: Getty Images

No one tell middle school me that the detailed doodles of hot girl faeries in the margins of her U.S. history textbook are now high fashion. I can’t imagine how that would have gone to my head.

Zuz

Zuz
Photo: Getty Images

If you’ve been wondering when Donatella Versace would cameo in the Lord of the Rings universe, you’ve got your answer. Similarly, this could be a promo for The Bachelor, Middle Earth. “I didn’t come here to make friends, I came here in search of the ring.”

Christian Siriano

Christian Siriano
Photo: Getty Images

Looks like PETA finally scared Cruella Deville straight.

Jason Wu

Jason Wu
Photo: Getty Images

Admittedly, this might be just the model’s alarmingly bored demeanor, but this looks like the perfect dress to wear when you’re being dragged to your ninth bridal shower of the year.

Bronx and Banco

Bronx and Banco
Photo: Getty Images

We are officially starting a countdown clock to see how long it will take before Mariah Carey wears this getup, or Kendall Jenner wears it to a friend’s wedding. I give it less than four weeks. Watch this space.

Aknvas

Aknvas
Photo: Getty Images

This woman looks like a head of goddamn lettuce! What is going on, here? I want to cry into my salad, not wear it.

Vivienne Tam

Vivienne Tam
Photo: Getty Images

I’m sorry, I am through...THROUGH with Bored Apes. How does this horrible tacky gimmick have such a freaking grip on the culture? Release us!

Prabal Gurung

Prabal Gurung
Photo: Getty Images

Come-come my lady, you’re my butterfly, sugar baby: It’s about time we get a hot Goth Butterfly.

Rodarte Again

Rodarte Again
Photo: Getty Images

Speaking of hot Goth Buttery...hot Goth Fairies are the only logical next step.

Anthony Rubio

Anthony Rubio
Photo: Getty Images

When will the unrealistic beauty standards end? Disappointed to see NYFW lionizing such an unattainable form, almost impossible for the average consumer to imagine themselves wearing this. But, I will say: impossibly cute.

 
Join the discussion...