Some Celebrity SponCon for the End of the World

Lionel Messi x ChatGPT, Goop x Defense Contractors, and now Timothee Chalamet x Kalshi. Why are our celebrities doing sponcon for companies that accelerate the destruction of our one and only Earth? Could it be…they’re just as broke as us?

To recap this week: Gwyneth Paltrow interviewed a defense contractor on the Goop Podcast (and appeared in an ad for a luxury real estate development in Israel); Lionel Messi posted an Instagram reel for ChatGPT; but by far the most egregious betrayal came on Thursday with Chalamet’s promo video for Kalshi. We were rooting for you, Timmy. We were all rooting for you.

BREAKING: Michael B. Jordan is 2x more likely to win the Oscar for Best Actor after Chalamet’s comments on ballet pic.twitter.com/AdzYb02waE

— Kalshi (@Kalshi) March 15, 2026

Kalshi is a prediction market app, aka an internet gambling site, where users can “make trades” on things like: Will Timothée Chalamet win an Oscar for Best Actor for Marty Supreme? (And sorry to anyone who made that “trade.”) In the ad posted to both Chalamet’s Twitter and Instagram accounts, there are three different scenes of Timothee: at the dentist, head-banging the ceiling of some loud upstairs neighbors, and playing the piano at an electronics shop. What do these three activities have to do with internet gambling? Nobody knows…yet. But the people sure did have thoughts, and flooded the comments with their burning questions like, “How much did they pay you to do this?”

Chalemet’s Kalshi ad getting no love pic.twitter.com/0fOiUyiXro

— matthew stasoff (@mattstasoff) June 11, 2026

All valid concerns considering he already makes a couple million bucks per Dune. Is he trying to catch up to his billionaire GF’s net worth? Or did he just spend that much money going to every single Knicks playoff game…Maybe both! Young men are among the most likely to become involved with internet gambling, which makes Chalamet the proper vessel for this marketing strategy. That also leaves young men as the demographic most vulnerable to falling into gambling debt. But not to worry, if Timmy’s doing it, it must be cool!

The Lionel Messi ChatGPT ad is slightly different, since athletes often earn the majority of their income through sponsorship deals, but still—just as icky. And Messi had already seemingly booked every other World Cup ad from Adidas to Lay’s to Michelob Ultra. He’s one of the world’s seven athlete billionaires. Nothing about a computer taking your job seems remotely related to soccer to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Leo Messi (@leomessi)

It might start small, like with an innocuous ad or brand deal. But before you know it, you’re placing bets on the outcome of the Iran war while the world births her first trillionaire.

Happy Friday! And remember, the house always wins.