Pick Better Songs For Your First Dance
EntertainmentThough bad music during a wedding reception is expected—if not mandatory—songs chosen for first dances are a different beast. Though a combination of free alcohol, old friends, and terrible cousins can make even the worst song a joy to dance to by the end of a night, the first dance is different. All (mostly sober) eyes are on the happy couple, and all ears are tuned to the single piece of music they’ve chosen to represent their allegedly undying love.
And, if data released by Spotify earlier this month is to be believed, you’re all choosing a bunch of crap. The music streaming service made a list of its users’ most popular songs for first dances, and the top 10 have confirmed to me that love is not real.
10. Lonestar – “Amazed”
Like many songs on this list, “Amazed” seems to have been written with weddings in mind. In addition to being chock full of cliches, it includes the line “Oh it feels like the first time every time” which couldn’t possibly be a good thing!
“How’s your sex life, Carol?”
“Oh, you know. With Harge, every time is like the first time.”
“Aw, honey! I’m so sorry!”
9. Jack Johnson – “Better Together”
The only reason Jack Johnson should be at any wedding is if he’s A) the one getting married, or B) shrouded in darkness outside the dance hall, offering up his vape to any guests who need to take a break from dancing.