Prince Edward Spends Easter at Vacation Rental Because His Perv Older Brother Won’t Move

Amid all the interpersonal drama the British royal family consistently delivers, there’s always a real estate element. With Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, that centered on Frogmore Cottage and a roughly $3 million taxpayer-funded renovation—which Harry paid back when the two moved to the United States. Since their move, various relatives have lived there 

There’s even more drama with Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s swift, if extremely belated, fall from grace. Even before his arrest in February, the man formerly known as Prince Andrew was set to move into Marsh Farm, a questionably named five-bedroom house on Sandringham Estate in Norfolk, a sprawling royal property in southeastern England that has too many royal residences to keep track of. One of those other homes is Wood Farm, where Andrew is currently staying as Marsh Farm gets a bit of a re-do, including the addition of CCTV. (I would have thought that Andrew would want to prevent prying eyes—even those of his security team—from seeing what he’s up to, but who knows.) He’s been banished to the edge of England following his eviction from the Royal Lodge at Windsor in February.

“Palace aides have always indicated that Andrew must be in his permanent new home Marsh Farm by Easter weekend,” the Sun reported, but—drama!—he was not. Queen Elizabeth’s favorite son is not budging, it seems, and that’s inconveniencing his younger brother, Prince Edward. (Edward is the youngest of the Windsor children; you probably forgot or don’t know that he exists, and that’s fine.) That’s because Edward and his family apparently always stay at Wood Farm over Easter, and they could not this year. Not only that, but according to the Daily Mail, they had to stay at Sandringham’s Gardens House, which is rentable to the public (for about $6,000 a week in high season). It really cracks me up imagining some social-climbing British family dropping half-truths about “spending Easter at Sandringham,” having their rental refunded because Andrew won’t get his ass up and move. 

This, of course, put Edward in an awkward position and forced him to address the problem face-to-face with his brother, something that’s actually illegal for British royals except under very strict circumstances. 

“Andrew has been dragging his heels. He could have moved by now, but has been reluctant. Edward has had a quiet word with his brother,” the Sun reported—making Edward the first family member to speak to Andrew since his arrest (on Sandringham grounds!) on February 19. Tough. 

The Gardens House has been available as a vacation rental since last summer, and is only 300 meters from the main royal pad on the estate. And it’s actually still currently available later this month and early next month, if you’re eager to follow in Edward’s footsteps and have a few grand burning a hole in your bank account.

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