Ranking Every Play-Doh Color, Based on Taste

Welcome back to Saturday Night Social. 

Before I lose you, hear me out. We can’t blame ourselves for trying Play-Doh once, twice, or numerous times as kids. It’s part of growing up. Plus, it’s not a child’s (or an adult woman’s) fault that they market their beautiful dough in all sorts of food-related ways (See: Play-Doh Rainbow Swirl Ice Cream Playset). Hasbro says the compound in Play-Doh is a mixture of water, salt, flour, and hey, maybe some other stuff, but it’s all non-toxic nonetheless. Earlier this month, they launched Blooms by Play-Doh, the brand’s first-ever line designed specifically for adults who enjoy sculpting floral arrangements. So God forbid a child (or an adult woman) have a curious spirit and give it a try.

If you recall from your days as a child, the taste/smell was specific, albeit bland, but our palates were way less refined back then! Trust me, there are subtleties, and you can count on my extremely sophisticated palate to pick up on those subtleties. For the sake of nostalgia, we’ll stick to the classic Play-Doh colors for the ranking. (Although these days there are over 50 dough variations for kids to ignore as they play on their iPads.)

Call it a result of MAHA or a cyclosporiasis outbreak or good old-fashioned boredom, but here’s my extremely scientific and not at all arbitrary rankings of the Play-Doh colors, based on taste. Starting from the lowest.

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White

No seasoning. No zest. Just stray dirt and hairs nested in the crevices of the stark white dough.

Yellow

Does not taste remotely like French fries, even after using the Play-Doh Kitchen Creations Burger and Fries Set. Ketchup is a must.

Green

Fine, but I prefer something richer, like a forest green.

Pink

Pretty sure this is what Arby’s steak nuggets are made of, but don’t fact-check that.

Purple

Similar to pink, but less in-your-face. Balanced on the back end. Smooth mouthfeel. Solid choice all around.

Red

It’s an acquired taste for sure, but eating this shade of red as kids prepared us for a lifetime of Red 40.

Orange

Robust like a 12-pack of Kraft singles.

And in the number 1 slot…

Blue

How else would you make blue Play-Doh ice cream? A lady need not ask why the ice cream is blue. She simply enjoys it. 

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Hey, it’s all vegan at the end of the day.