Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Brangelina Cast Spell On Long Island; Shopaholic Beyoncé Sends Lookalike To Austrian Museum: “People of Oyster Bay, do not be alarmed! Two heavenly, dream-inducing, hypnotically beautiful people have moved into your area. It is OK. If you band together as a community, you will be able to weather this storm of unexpected beauty. A few tips for survival:
- Do not look directly at them. Retinal damage from “Brangelina” sightings has been reported in a few rare instances. Sunglasses are recommended for daily wear.
- Approach them slowly. Like glorious butterflies, they startle easily.
- Flash photography is not permitted at any Dunkin’ Donuts locations. Please see signs posted at all drive-thrus.
- Spontaneous, well choreographed dance numbers have been reported upon exposure to this couple. Do not be alarmed, just try to keep up.
- They have children. If you are blessed by whatever higher power you believe in, maybe your children and their children can associate in a chilren-ish way. Their oldest son has knives, FYI.
- Fainting, screaming, and crying has been a noted side-effect of a Brangelina encounter. This usually passes in 24-48 hours and can be combatted with a swift slap upside the head.
My best for your continued success as a town, AC. ” • Worst Comment Of The Day, in response to Did California Pageant Officials Buy Carrie Prejean New Breasts?: “Couldn’t they at least get her a better boob job than that? Those are horrible.”
