RFK Jr. Wrote Olivia Nuzzi Pervy Poems

Welcome back to Monday Barf Bag.

As more and more gossip seeps out about former New York mag political correspondent Olivia Nuzzi’s romantic history, one thing has become clear: She’s an age-gap girl.

The New York Times profiled the 32-year-old journalist ahead of the publication of her memoir, which is in part about her alleged affair with 71-year-old Robert F. Kennedy Jr. while covering his 2023 presidential campaign, a mere 10 days ago. However, it feels like a lifetime ago, given that, since then, we’ve been subject to a near-constant firehouse of details about the sordid saga. Ryan Lizza, Nuzzi’s ex-fiancé whose name intermittently pops up in the Times piece (and who’s now 51), is in the middle of a multi-part installment documenting his side of their relationship and breakup. In part two, published late Friday night, Lizza revealed the contents of a poem that RFK allegedly wrote to his then-betrothed: “Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest. ... I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth. I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. ‘Dont spill a drop’. I am a river You are my canyon. I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. My Love.” 

Lizza says that’s not even the grossest part of the poem (and I use that term loosely), but he won’t publish it all. “Thanks to Bobby, I am now aware of something called felching,” he writes. (Google at your own risk.)

Time to read part 2 of the Olivia Nuzzi stor— GOOD LORD pic.twitter.com/Sulula007V

— Megan A. Taros (@megataros) November 22, 2025

In the first part of Lizza’s newsletter series (in which, it must be noted, he does not come across well), he revealed that she hooked up with former South Carolina Rep. Mark Sanford (a Republican, now aged 65), during Sanford’s brief presidential bid in 2020; and that he also helped her “untangle” herself from her “unusual relationship” with former MSNBC host Keith Olbermann. Olbermann is now 66 years old, but apparently has not learned to keep his trap shut throughout his many, many decades on this planet: After Lizza’s article came out, he dedicated part of a podcast episode to explaining his relationship with Nuzzi. He said he discovered her writing on Twitter, and after they met for dinner, they started dating. Speaking to the Times, he said they did not begin their physical relationship until she turned 19. (Ughhhhh I did not need to know this.)

It feels fairly likely that Lizza will be publishing a part three, but I’m not sure how much weirder this story can get.

Don’t gouge your eyes out just yet, though! Nuzzi’s incoming book, American Canto—which does not name RFK but explains her relationship with the “Politician”—comes out in just eight days, and it’s looking disturbingly promising. In one excerpt, which was published in Vanity Fair, Nuzzi talks about the worm in the Politician’s brain, and writes, “I loved his brain. I hated the idea of an intruder therein.” 

---

More felch—uh, barf: 

• Donald Trump’s first meeting with New York Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani went surprisingly well. He even gave Mamdani the OK to call him a fascist… (NBC News)
• …Just a few hours after the House of Representatives voted 285-98 on a resolution to denounce socialism. (Politico)
• George Conway, a famously outspoken critic of Donald Trump, told a source he’s thinking about running for Congress. (CNN)
• Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) announced she’s retiring from Congress in January, saying she’s always “been despised in Washington DC and never fit in.” (X)
• Danielle Bensky, an Epstein survivor, condemned Trump for dismissing demands to release the Epstein files as a “hoax.” (Guardian)
• A group of ousted officials from the Department of Justice curated and posted a page of goodbye messages on why they left the DOJ. (The Justice Connection)
• After suggesting six Democrats should be murdered, Trump posted an AI-generated video of them behind bars on Truth Social. (Daily Beast)
• According to a poll, most Americans would oppose military action in Venezuela. (CBS)
• A spokesperson for Usha Vance says that she wasn’t wearing her ring because she’s “a mother of three young children, who does a lot of dishes, gives lots of baths, and forgets her ring sometimes.” And totally not because her husband is into Erika Kirk. (People)

---

Like what you just read? You’ve got great taste. Subscribe to Jezebel, and for $5 a month or $50 a year, you’ll get access to a bunch of subscriber benefits, including getting to read the next article (and all the ones after that) ad-free. Plus, you’ll be supporting independent journalism—which, can you even imagine not supporting independent journalism in times like these? Yikes.