Should Tom Brady Be Barred from Pizza Commercials? Jezebel Discusses

What is Slack for if not for having debates about retired football players and the products they should or shouldn’t be allowed to endorse at 9 p.m. on a weeknight?

A few nights ago, Jezebel Contributing Writer (and Barf Bag connoisseur) Susan Rinkunas shared a link about Tom Brady‘s current partnership with Pizza Hut, which was announced at the beginning of January, in which he starred in a pre-Super Bowl ad for the delicious pizza chain. We assume this means he will also be starring in their official Super Bowl ad.

Sue’s position is that Brady has enough money, and that he has no business shilling for a pizza chain. Since Brady once adhered to such an insane, strict diet which definitely excluded gluten and dairy and also excluded most fruits, as well as nightshade vegetables like tomatoes, bell peppers, and mushrooms, Sue believes he should be banned from ever collecting a paycheck from a company selling food that, at one point, might have put Brady into a coma if he even thought about it.

I am the opposite of a Brady apologist—but as a giant fan of pizza, I very much support Brady trying to find joy in the wake of his wife having a baby with and marrying her hot jiu-jitsu instructor. In fact, I’d take 1,000 Brady pizza commercials over his pathetic, emo Instagram Stories any day.

Below, I’ve included our brief but spirited conversation in full. And you can tell us who’s right, who’s wrong, and why Greg Olson should maybe be the Pizza Hut spokesperson instead.

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Susan Rinkunas  [9:04 PM]
old news but someone please drag this man for his insatiable thirst for money

Lauren Tousignant  [9:05 PM]
i mean…..pizza hut deal is kind of the dream….

Susan Rinkunas  [9:05 PM]
he didn’t even eat certain vegetables because he thought they caused inflammation and now this
yes but he’s Tom Brady, the Most Annoying Man Alive

Lauren Tousignant  [9:06 PM]
i know but pizza hut is delicious!

Susan Rinkunas  [9:06 PM]
i agree, but also: guillotine

Lauren Tousignant  [9:07 PM]
true
but also, gisele moved on, i’m glad he’s finally letting himself have dairy?
not just dairy, PIZZA!

Susan Rinkunas  [9:11 PM]
he did retire, so he’s presumably less concerned about inflammation but he’s a part owner of an NFL team and has a cushy commentator gig why does he need pizza hut money
gisele DID move on and she’s winning 👹

Lauren Tousignant  [9:12 PM]
maybe he gets a really good discount now
she is

Susan Rinkunas  [9:13 PM]
my friend wants to know if tom has eaten a green pepper yet slash if he has consumed a nightshade in this process
tomato sauce used to be fully off limits!

Lauren Tousignant  [9:14 PM]
ill text him

Susan Rinkunas  [9:14 PM]
tysm

Lauren Tousignant  [9:14 PM]
i mean do you want to write this 😂
i am more pro pizza than anything

Susan Rinkunas  [9:16 PM]
literally print the slacks. PRINT THE SLACKS

Lauren Tousignant  [9:18 PM]
this commercial is actually more embarrassing than anything

Susan Rinkunas  [9:19 PM]
it’s FINE but now i’m concerned they’re going to use him in a super bowl ad too

Lauren Tousignant  [9:21 PM]
i mean, i’m guessing they will??
would be weird to only use him in the pre-Super Bowl commercial ??

Susan Rinkunas  [9:24 PM]
true
[Sue then sends a link to a Yahoo Sports! story with the headline: “Greg Olsen admits being demoted for Tom Brady on Fox broadcasts was an ‘ego hit'”]
also: justice for greg olsen, brady replaced him and he sucks at the job

Lauren Tousignant  [9:25 PM]
i have no idea who this man is

Susan Rinkunas  [9:25 PM]
that’s ok, he’s a retired panthers player

Lauren Tousignant  [9:26 PM]
he’s hotter than Brady

Susan Rinkunas  [9:27 PM]
i’ll give you that

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We ended the debate there, both happy to agree that Greg Olson is a far superior retired football player. Maybe Pizza Hut can give him a call. (Also, my email is [email protected] if they’re looking to give away free pizza to anyone!)

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