The Beckham Family Feud Is Almost Old Enough to Go to Kindergarten

The Beckham vs. Beckhams saga looks like it will soon be entering its fifth year, and the tactics have escalated: All the big names in celebrity gossip are reporting that Brooklyn Beckham (whom, by the way, Google describes as a “former photographer,” which really tickles me) no longer follows his parents, David and Victoria Beckham, or his brothers, Cruz and Romeo Beckham on Instagram. They no longer follow him either. (His baby sister, Harper Beckham, is just 14 years old and does not appear to have a public Instagram.) 

The mutual not-following is also true for Brooklyn’s wife, Nicola Peltz Beckham.

It was initially reported that David and Victoria had unfollowed their son, but Cruz posted on Instagram over the weekend that that was “NOT TRUE.” 

“My mum and dad would never unfollow their son … Let’s get the facts right. They woke up blocked … as did I.” 

A source reportedly told Page Six the reason is that Victoria liked a video of Brooklyn’s in which he talks about roasting a chicken. (NB: I roasted a chicken last night, but you don’t see me attempting to be a cooking influencer.) Apparently that prompted a flood of people to comment, asking Brooklyn to make amends with his family, which pissed Brooklyn off, so instead, he blocked everyone he’s related to. First of all: My man, the only reason anyone is watching your videos is because of who you are related to. Second of all: Seems like an over-reaction, no? Blocking your mom and dad on Instagram is a pretty drastic move even for normies, but when your parents are Posh and Becks and you’ve famously been feuding for an unclear reason on and off for the past four years? This is a very public shot across the bow from Brooklyn—and yet another seemingly cruel move after not attending his dad’s (multiple) 50th birthday parties earlier this year.

Reports have pinned the drama on a few incidents relating to Brooklyn and Nicola’s 2022 wedding, including that Nicola declined to wear a wedding dress designed by Victoria’s label, and that Victoria danced with Brooklyn to a song she was not supposed to. What I’ve always found curious about those reasons (insofar as you can call two relatively crappy-but-minor things that adult women should have gotten over by now “reasons”) is that a) they emerged as explanations way after the fact, and b) Nicola appeared with the Beckhams publicly multiple times since the wedding—take her selfie with Victoria in February 2024 at Paris fashion week, for example. That’s not the behavior of a woman who’s so angry at her mother-in-law she’s pushing her husband to estrange himself. 

No, I think this whole beef has got to be stemming from Brooklyn himself. And to an extent, fair enough; if you are as famously untalented as he is and your parents are as famously talented as they are (or were, in David’s case—don’t worry though, you’re still sooooo hot, David), that’s going to give you a complex. But sporadically cutting them off is both childish and mean, so Brooklyn, if you’re reading this, go to therapy. I actually think good old psychoanalysis might be just the ticket here. Nicola, it’s not too late to get him a gift certificate to your nearest analyst for Christmas. 

---

• I always knew intellectually that you have to saw down your teeth before getting veneers, but actually seeing Chrissy Teigen’s little dagger of a tooth has spooked me for life. [People]
• Nicki Minaj and her hair appeared at a Turning Point USA event with Erika Kirk and her hair. [CNN]
• Bowen Yang is leaving Saturday Night Live and Cher called him the “perfect” amount of gay. [Vulture]
• “I’m convinced I’m a billionaire” — Lily Allen, and also me, as I swipe my credit card ignoring all possible consequences this holiday season. [Daily Mail]
• Deuxmoi responded to criticism of the way it’s (she’s? they’re?) talking about Heated Rivalry. Yes, Deuxmoi, the “anon pls” Instagram account. [Just Jared]

---

Like what you just read? You’ve got great taste. Subscribe to Jezebel, and for $5 a month or $50 a year, you’ll get access to a bunch of subscriber benefits, including getting to read the next article (and all the ones after that) ad-free. Plus, you’ll be supporting independent journalism—which, can you even imagine not supporting independent journalism in times like these? Yikes.