The Devil Loves This

Scene: The Devil sits on his West Elm Peggy sofa, channel-surfing in black harem pants and a hoodie with flames on it that reads “What the Hell?” Suddenly, he perks up. A Meghan Trainor music video is playing on the television. He’s intrigued. Transfixed. “Oh. My. Go-” he stops himself. He picks up the phone and dials a number.

“Meghan Trainor,” he says to his assistant, Troy. “Play her video in the lobby. NOW!” Troy asks, “Which one?” The devil rolls his eyes. “EV-RY ONE!!!” he yells, just like that guy in The Professional, and slams down the phone. He turns his attention back to the TV to continue watching this video for “I’m a Lady,” from the Smurfs soundtrack. He loves it.

“I don’t move like dem/ But I ain’t worried ’bout it.”